Today's News: Our Take


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In last night's results episode of Last Comic Standing, Gary Gulman, Alonzo Bodden and John Heffron got the last laugh — competitors Tammy Pescatelli, Kathleen Madigan and Jay London were given the hook by viewers. In related news, we're still pouting because London got the wild-card slot that we were sure had Ant's name written all over it. read more

HELLO KITTY... AGAIN

Although moviegoers shunned Catwoman like it was used kitty litter, Halle Berry told reporters at the career-killing flick's German opening yesterday that she hoped to headline a sequel. (Go ahead; take a moment to snicker. Heaven knows we did.) Hopefully, the foreign press merely misunderstood the Oscar winner, who, logic dictates, had to have been saying that she'd sooner be spayed than star in another stink bomb. read more

Big Brother 5 Scott got evicted....

Big Brother 5
Scott got evicted. Well, there's a shocker. So I guess the Four Horsemen will have to find a new name. Unfortunately for them, the Three Stooges is already taken. Meanwhile, Adria and Natalie revealed that they had been switching places in the house, pretending to be the same person, yet no one flipped out. Not even that wacko Jase, who was probably still reeling from the devastating loss of his partner in pectorals. (OK, was I the only one whose skin started to crawl when he put on his sunglasses, took off his shirt and started pumping iron immediately following the eviction? Dude needs to lose the headwrap and let some blood get to his brain.) Everyone was all hugs and smiles. All things considered, I guess two gals who share a face are better than two guys (Scott and Jase) who share a brain.

Blue Collar TV
The theme of tonight's installment is "Naked," or as host Jeff Foxworthy sai read more

MUSICAL NOTES

A double-disc version of Norah Jones' current CD Feels like Home, featuring three previously unreleased songs and a DVD, will arrive in stores on Sept. 21... R.E.M.'s next album, Around the Sun, will hit the street on Oct. 5... The latest Now That's What I Call Music compilation knocked Ashlee Simpson's Autobiography from the No. 1 spot on Billboard's album chart with sales of 504,000 copies. read more

BIG TWIST

If you watch just one episode of Big Brother 5 this summer, tonight's installment should be it. After being duped for five weeks, the housemates will finally learn the season's big twist: that identical twins Adria and Natalie have been switching in and out of the house pretending to be one person. Clearly, the only way the show can top this stunt is to allow preening ape-man Jase to marry his beloved. (And by "his beloved," we mean his own reflection, not monkey-boy sidekick Scott.) read more

REMEMBERED

Legendary French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson, whose pictures defined the mid-20th century and inspired generations of shutterbugs, died Tuesday morning in France. He was 95. read more

BEWARE, PATHETIC EARTHLINGS

Mummy auteur Stephen Sommers, who misfired badly with this summer's monster mess Van Helsing, will produce, write and (possibly) direct a new feature adaptation of Flash Gordon, Variety reports. All together now: Flash — Ah. read more

KOOSH-BALL ALERT!

HBO is partnering with Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Kelli, on a documentary about the "first-ever gay and lesbian family vacation." Debuting on the pay cabler in 2005, the film will chronicle a weeklong cruise that the O'Donnells recently chartered for 500 gay and lesbian families. Wait a second: I thought Madonna's Truth or Dare Tour was the first-ever gay vacation. I'm so confused. read more

GOOD MEDICINE

Lifetime has ordered a sixth season of Strong Medicine, which airs its 100th episode on Oct. 3. The news comes just a day after the network axed its four-year-old cop drama The Division, stating that the show "had run its course." Long story short: This is a bad week for the folks at The Division. read more

GREEN GIANT

Shrek 2, which just surpassed Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace as the fourth-highest-grossing film of all time, will arrive on DVD Nov. 5, DreamWorks confirms. Incidentally, that's the same day rival studio Pixar unleashes its latest CGI flick, The Incredibles, in theaters. But I'm sure that's just a coincidence. read more

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