Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Hi everyone!

Hope you had a great week! Thanks for voting for us!

OK, so the "sex on a stick" speech. I was auditioning for a Woody Allen movie or something! I don't know what was going on there. I think it had a little Vince Vaughn delivery. After I said all of that, Kirstie was like, "OK, don't ever do that again." It all just sort of came out. The thing is, where I'm from in the Ukraine, we are known for a certain sense of humor and satire. When it's midnight and it's just us boys hanging out on a balcony, things come out and they're hilarious. If somebody films us, they'll understand it's just us being us. It was the same situation here. I don't want people to think I'm out of my freaking mind; I was just being funny about myself. I do think I'm sex on a stick! Ha! I thought the whole thing was brilliant. The package caught me by surprise. I didn't actually see it play in the studio, so I walk in and the entire red room is dying. Chelsea has tears in her eyes and Mark is on the floor. I had totally forgotten about it. I do want to say I apologize for any offense, but when I said it, it was truly an outer-body experience. Charlie Sheen may be normal compared to me! Still, it couldn't have come at a perfect time. In the past week, I gave my shirt to Oprah, danced the foxtrot in leather pants, took off my shirt to reveal a tattoo of the American flag and had a monologue about sex stick! According to Kirstie, I had another crazy monologue — not about sex stick — but we'll see if the producers ever air that!

I thought our foxtrot was great. Val said, "I know you have 'American Woman,' but I cannot hear it as a foxtrot." And it was the same for me. It's not a traditional foxtrot at all. I was waiting to see what we're going to come up with. I like that Kirstie trusts me. I don't know how much now after the sex stick speech! My only worry was that this may be the only time she'll ever get to do the foxtrot and it wasn't a traditional one. But she didn't mind. I also like that it was very different from everything else that night. It wasn't a "Yankee Doodle Dandy" performance.  We represented the Rock 'N' Roll side of America. My post-mortem on it though is that we danced to a song originally by a Canadian artist that was telling an American woman to get away. The irony! But I think most people understood that we were channeling the Lenny Kravitz version.

Oh, and how could I forget! No mishaps this week. I think it was the dance doctor's doing. The juju is gone, so we won't have to lock ourselves in a closet for a year!

Next week, we have the samba. It's guilty pleasures week. We didn't choose the song, so it has nothing to do with Kirstie's guilty pleasure, so there will be no portrayal or acting out of the song. We are in New York this week and are trying to split time between rehearsals and hanging out. It feels great to be home! Everyone was saying how crappy the weather here has been the past few weeks, but our first day here, it was nothing but sunshine, so I guess we brought the sunshine!

It was very sad to see Petra leaving. She's a beautiful person inside and obviously out, but even more so on the inside. She's been through a lot and she's always come out on top. She has an amazing foundation that she started and I hope everybody will check it out. While I didn't want to see her go, the next question is: Well, who would you have rather seen go? And my answer is I don't know. I don't know if I'd like to see anyone go at this point. It's getting tougher every week and right now we're just accepting the rules of the game that someone, unfortunately, will be gone every week.

One last thing: I want to thank all our fans again for the support. It's always heartfelt and always real, and Kirstie and I appreciate it.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading!

Maks