Hope you had a great week. Thanks for voting for us!
I just want to get this out of the way: Everything's cool with Carrie Ann. She's passionate and I'm passionate. We made up afterward. Everything's back to normal. I never expected it to get blown up like it did, but I guess it was like, "reality drama"! We talked after the show and everything's great now. The post-mortem is that I don't think it was something I needed to say then and there. But the whole thing goes back to the intensity of the season. We're all busting our butts and working hard every second for the show. I'm trying so hard to do so much and life goes on outside of it. It's not like this is a scripted show. If that were the case then I would be a robot, which is what the show demands you to be. You have to keep your cool and be professional. Honestly, it's close to impossible to do that for the full 10 weeks. It's been five years now — I've done five seasons back to back and another five back to back. With everything that's going on in my life now, I let that particular moment get to me and I lost it. That's it. However frowned upon that moment was — I'm not justifying it — but I'm also not ashamed. I pride myself on the fact that I voice my opinion. I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking your mind and I think everyone should. I wish people spoke out more. In my case, it's just the place and the time. I didn't choose the perfect time or the perfect setting. At the end of the day, the judges and dancers all in it together. The celebrities come and go, but we're the constant.
I understand the point Carrie Ann was making, but I still disagree with it. And that's fine. We agree to disagree. What I was upset about was the fact that if you go back and watch other couples' performances, you'd see that they skipped eight bars before dancing. And she didn't comment on that to them at all. You look at other people's stuff and count. Eight bars in, they're only starting to dance. We started dancing four bars in because our song hit an accent at that particular count. Would I love to have started dancing right away? Yes, but you can't always do that with your music. I wanted to make it musically right. On the dance floor in a competition format, yes, it's frowned upon, but if you back it up with dancing, no one's going to deny you praise. It's a matter of personal opinion.
We have the paso doble and the Argentine tango next week. We've finished the paso and are working on the tango now. We're dedicating the paso to everybody who's been bullied. I thought it was great for that particular message. We're taking a risk with our interpretation. Will the audience get it? Will the judges get it? I don't know. But it's something Brandy and I clicked on. We spoke a lot about it and we went through tough, tough moments in our lives, but we came out on top. I want kids to understand that you have to speak up — let your voice be heard. Don't be silent and wallow. Talk because there are people who care and who will listen. Our Argentine tango will be traditional. I think it's going to be fun. We just want to do a good tango. The paso — we want to get people out of their seats.
It was a bummer that Kurt left. He's such a cool guy. I know there's been a lot of talk about the past few eliminations, but it's about the votes. If you didn't vote for who you think deserved to stay, I don't think you can complain. I also think for every person who's upset that Bristol is still in it, there are a handful more who are happy she's still in it because, well, she is. She's an element in our show. She's doing her thing and she's giving her fans something to vote for every week. Again, it just goes to show, it's not about the scores as much as it is about the votes. Kurt overcame a huge score deficit a few weeks ago on votes. I've been on the receiving end of this situation and I've also been on the other end. It is what it is. Everyone who is still on the show deserves to be on.
Right now, Brandy and I are just focused on the semifinal. We're not thinking about the final yet. if we go through to the finale, it would be cool and it's definitely our goal, but we can't look too far ahead. I need to take everything one step at a time because, as I've mentioned, this season has been very tough on all of us pros. Yesterday, I was at my worst. I was ridiculous. I was mentally and physically done. It's really hard. No one — absolutely no one — understands what we go through no matter who you are. You haven't been in our shoes. You have no idea how difficult it is. When you get to the final, you are so drained that you become a shell of a person. You're on complete autopilot. Once it's over, you go, "I have absolutely no idea how I did." I love our fans. I love my fans. I love seeing what they like, bad or good. The positive stuff gives me a good reinforcement and tells me I'm doing something right. Most of the negativity I laugh at because it's so stupid or unreasonable since these people clearly don't know anything about ballroom dancing or what we go through. It's funny to me that there's so much negativity spewed at everyone. Why don't you get up and try to do what we do? People judge me for being a certain way. Honestly at this point, I really don't care. I only care about what Brandy thinks right now. I know what my past partners think and how good our relationships are — and people are still speculating about how we supposedly "hate" each other and whatnot. I love when I get tweets from people who say they created a Twitter account just to tell me they hate me. If you hate me, why waste your time making an account to tell me? If I hated someone, I would never waste time doing that. It's really amazing the lengths people go to behind the protection and anonymity of the Internet to be mean. But I'm not letting those people get to me. I'm just focused right now on Monday. I'm tired. Brandy's tired. But I know we will bring our best next week.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading.