One on One
How can UPN possibly compete with Fox during American Idol? Can't hurt to bring on Ruben Studdard to guest-star on One on One. They gave him some silly story line with Flex Washington as an excuse to sing his new song, "I'm Sorry 2004." Cute! But why you gotta diss my man Clay, dawg?

Gilmore Girls
This show is always making with the witty pop-culture references. At the mall, Lorelai sees a pair of Manolo Blahnik heels and channels Gollum from The Lord of the Rings: "Me wants the preciousssss!" I feel the same way about Juicy Couture velvet sweatsuits and chocolate ganache torte. Mmm...

During GG, the WB ran a commercial boasting "a full hour of Reba" this Friday. And this is a good thing?!

American Idol
Southern girl Charly Lowry needed to wear a bra under that Barbie prom dress. Was she cold on that stage or what? A more pressing question: Were the judges hallucinating when they praised Leah LaBelle's looks and voice? Sure, she's a pretty girl, but her hair was 12 different colors and her voice was all over the place. Yuck! They truly saved the best performer of the evening for last: LaToya London not only had a cool name, but a classy fashion sense — that white pantsuit rocked — and a controlled, kick-ass voice. This young woman has American Idol written all over her. I have no doubt she'll be voted a finalist on Wednesday's results show.

Brendan Fraser returned as the ex-brother-in-law of Dr. Cox. Fun! I gotta admit, I laughed out loud at these two playing "Gay Chicken." Apparently, that's where two men lean in for a kiss on the lips to see who'll be the first to pull away. My boyfriend Justin and I lose that game all the time, honey.

Oooh! Is Gael doomed? And who's that hotel employee CTU called to warn about the deadly virus? Yes, I spotted him: It's Doug Savant — aka Matt the gay guy from Melrose Place!

I love how Sherry Palmer's so cool and ladylike — but whenever somebody contradicts her, she just sorta growls her words at 'em. Like when the president's brother doubted their chances of achieving plausible deniability about her role in Alan's death. Sherry's snarly response: "We can, and we will." Girlfriend knows how to shut people right up! I need to start doing this at work.

By the way, I happened to catch Elisha Cuthbert — who plays Kim — on On Air With Ryan Seacrest today. She was plugging some doofy movie she's in, whatever it was. Between On Air and 24, Fox gave this viewer way too much exposure to Cuthbert's wrongful hairdo for one day. I don't mean to be ugly, but — that fakey blond hair! Those bangs! This child's hairstylist jacked her up. Her character is annoying as it is. Must she have bad hair, too?

Super Millionaire
Wow! Did you see the sad chick who got the Tinkertoys question wrong? I've never seen anyone botch the first question and walk off with zero. But I liked that nervous, oddly named computer nerd Bengt Pederson. Funny how Regis kept calling him "Bent"! If you look past the unibrow, he's actually cute. This, my friends, is a prime candidate for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy if I ever saw one. (Weird! Just when I was thinking that, the Fab Five turned up in an ad for the American Express Small Business Network.) And I felt for Bengt on that question about the most common metal in the earth's crust. Aluminum. Who knew? But I guiltily confess, I'm hooked on "the next dimension" of Millionaire. Gotta see if one of these geeks gets the $10 mil.