The Closer The Closer

Nurse Jackie
10:30 pm/ET Showtime
Showtime might have just the right prescription for summertime-viewing blahs. ER Nurse Jackie Peyton (the perfectly mesmerizing Edie Falco) is quite the pill as an overworked but dedicated angel of mercy who broaches no bull and is quick to lose her patience with doctors who lose patients. On the downside, she has a penchant for painkillers. Cases in the involving opener of the black comedy include a battered hooker who sliced off the ear of an abusive john, and a young man who learns that Roman candles aren't all they're cracked up to be. — Ray Stackhouse

The Closer
9 pm/ET TNT
It's the opener of The Closer: The solid series kicks off its fifth season with a patented labyrinthine case that finds Brenda and her squad investigating the brutal, execution-style murder of a family of four. (The show, as always, doesn't flinch from showing the disturbing crime scene.) Before long, Brenda's case radically changes course when she tumbles into an FBI investigation. Elsewhere, love stinks for a squad member: The usually zesty Provenza suddenly turns romantically bitter. At home, Brenda's beloved cat, the aptly named Kitty, tries to scratch through a medical problem. — Dean Maurer

Jon & Kate Plus 8
9 pm/ET TLC
Kate kicks her cooking up a notch when celeb chef Emeril Lagasse pays the Gosselins a visit to their Pennsylvania home and gives cooking lessons to the entire family in celebration of the 100th episode of the series. With any luck, Kate will keep her cool when Jon and eight little helpers invade her kitchen. — Karen Andzejewicz

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
10 pm/ET Bravo
Kathy Griffin's real-world (mis)adventures continue in her unscripted show's fifth-season opener. Our heroine is still firmly planted on the D-list, but will she claw her way to A-grade glory this season? Her efforts to ascend the entertainment ladder land her at Grammy headquarters, where she resorts to bribing the Grammy folks into giving her a statuette. Later, Kathy puts a bet on Bette, hightailing it to Las Vegas and meeting Bette Midler. The Divine Miss M offers Kathy a cameo in her Vegas stage show, but there's a catch: Kathy must learn the challenging choreography and sport an improvised costume. — Dean Maurer

10 pm/ET Showtime
So, what's the buzz on Season 5 of the cable sitcom about the suburban housewife who's trying to make a killing in the cannabis biz? Last year ended with a bang as "unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster" left Nancy carrying his child. He knows she's been talking to the Feds, and ponders what to do about her. Elsewhere, Celia's kidnapper daughter weighs other options when she finds out nobody is willing to pay her mom's ransom; and Andy, Doug and Silas engage in a joint effort to start growing and selling their own weed. — Ray Stackhouse

The Colbert Report
11:30 pm/ET Comedy Central
The 65th anniversary of D-Day happened on Saturday, but now it's C-Day in Iraq as Stephen Colbert takes his show on the road for a USO tour entitled "Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando." Colbert will entertain U.S. troops stationed in the embattled country for the next four days, and his scheduled guests include Gen. Ray Odierno, Multi-National Force — Iraq commander, and Barham Salih, the Deputy Prime Minister of Iraq. — Joe Friedrich