In last night's cacophonous (and oh-so anticlimactic) Superstar USA finale, bubbly blond Jamie squeaked (and yowled and shrieked) past runners-up Rosa and Mario to win the American Idol lampoon's top prize the chance to be humiliated on national television as the country's worst vocalist. For our exclusive interview with reality television's newest star, click here. But first, a quick round of applause for Entertainment News contributor Ben Katner for working cacophonous into a sentence.
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