Threat Matrix Since Friends, CSI and Tru Calling are all reruns, I dropped in on this snoozefest about homeland-security agents. Tonight, the gang is looking for terrorists who've had extreme makeovers to assume the identities of workers at a nuclear power plant. Basically it's a poor man's Face/Off, with one of the bad guys ending up looking like George Costanza instead of Nic Cage.
Steve Harvey's Big Time Harvey finally has to put his money where his mouth is when he jokingly tells a 70-year-old football-playing granny that he ought to sponsor her team and she dances around the stage like a kid in front of the tree Christmas morning. He tries to retract his offer by citing a misunderstanding of the definition of ought to on her part, but she's too busy rejoicing with the rabid audience. Chagrined, Harvey realizes that resistance is futile (not to mention cheap) and concedes with a promise of $5,000. Steve, in one of those rare instances of art imitating life, You Got Served. (Although I still have no idea what this new movie's about. So far, all I know is they're break-dancing. In a boxing ring.)
Mischa Barton's Neutrogena Commercial Like we believe that Coop buys skincare products at CVS.
The Apprentice I knew it! In yet another Survivor parallel, there's going to be a "corporate reshuffle" between Versacorp and Protégé next week! Too bad I had to sit through a pretty boring episode in which everyone childishly cheered Sam's pink slip and the gals pimped themselves out again to win another competition to find this out. The strategy is a no-brainer considering that there are twice as many gals than guys. And let's not forget the possibility of hookups. The male herd has been thinned and the ones who remain are quite studly. My money's on the unflappable Bill but I won't discount cut-and-dry Nick. Ethical, steadfast and hot-tempered can be just as attractive tall, dark and handsome. And the quote of the show belongs to Troy, who assessed that in order to win, his team needed to be "poppin' like a frog on a hot plate." I didn't say it was pretty, but it sure is memorable.
Surreal Life I don't know which is more disgusting: chronically wasted Trishelle's bloated baby face; Vanilla Ice's awkward attempts to eat without swallowing his lower-lip ring; or Ron Jeremy's hairy keg belly (pot's too small).
Bands Reunited To be honest, I tuned in to get my weekly Aamer Haleem fix but I truly enjoyed watching the four members of Brit band The Alarm reunite after lead singer Mike Peters quit during a performance 12 years ago. The Alarm was big in the '80s, when I was still in grammar school listening to Wham and Miami Sound Machine, so I can't say that I watched with the perspective of a jilted music fan. But these guys, childhood chums now in their forties with workaday jobs, are a generally genial bunch. They all accept the invitation to get together and clear the air and it's a happy meeting that kicks off with hugs all around and gets to the bottom of what led to the band's unexpected demise. Things go so well that they agree to perform a reunion concert for their devoted fans and Peters takes the opportunity to publicly set things right with his old friends. The only question that remains unanswered is what were they thinking with that hair?
Without a Trace Jay Harrington survived the Titanic of sitcoms otherwise known as the American version of Coupling and I have to say I'm happy to see him. He and Rena Sofer were the only reasons to watch that doomed from the start "sex comedy" and I'm glad he's getting work, especially on this acclaimed drama. It's an engaging episode with a twisty plot, but not for one second do I buy Rick Hoffman, whom I'll always fondly remember as sleazy Freddie Sacker from the short-lived The Street, as Harrington's brother. Former VIP costar Leah Lail is here, too, playing Harrington's wife. Not that I ever watched VIP, mind you. At least, not voluntarily.