Survivor I was really hoping that...

Survivor
I was really hoping that Koror would win the reward challenge so they'd get material and a sewing kit 'cause Coby's starting to share on a Richard Hatch kind of level in his too small briefs. Speaking of the nudist former winner, there hasn't been a great crazy shark-hunting episode since All-Stars when that bitty baby shark took a hunk out of the great white male. Gotta love Tom and Ian and their complete willingness to just try anything. Attack deadly venomous snakes? Sure. Try and kill fairly large sharks with only slightly sharpened sticks as weapons? Why not? Kick the butts of the Ulong tribe when it really matters for immunity? Not a problem. I knew that Tom's firefighting skills would make him a force to be reckoned with, but who knew that dolphin training bred such strong and well-rounded individuals? Makes me want to visit Sea World.

Meanwhile, I hope that Jeff decided to pay a visit to the infirmary to get that nasty ankle wound checked out right after Ulong bid him adieu. I would have rather seen him stick around for a bit longer instead of his bed buddy Kim, but the tribe has spoken. Maybe his injury will earn him a question on one of the new Pringles that have Survivor trivia printed on them. Yeah, I'm serious. I had to rewind and watch that commercial three times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, and I'm still pretty sure I don't want my potato chips to talk back to me. Especially when they are asking questions about people who starved themselves for 30 days. I'm already guilty enough when I crack open a snack. I don't need more issues. — Angel Cohn

The Apprentice
Audrey gave an impassioned don't hate me because I'm beautiful speech, but still landed her pretty little self in a taxi home when she over-delegated. Didn't help that she butted heads with Vince Vaughn, I mean John, who made the mistake of complimenting her looks but not her brain. Then she pulled a 360 during her exit interview when she was flattered that the Donald said she was beautiful. That wasn't the only confusing thing in her farewell. I've been trying to decipher this particular quote for over an hour: "In the end those of us who walk away winning, win more than just a loss." I'm giving up, I'd much rather spend my time trying to puzzle out the Lost's numeric code instead.

There were a few somewhat valuable lessons to be learned tonight though:
1. You've got to be an animal to stay in this game. Not only during the boardroom catfighting, but on a mini-golf course as well. The Zoo tycoons scored while clowning around left Net Worth with nothing.
2. Chewing tobacco is gross. Period. But chewing tobacco in front of little kids while you are wearing a clown suit can only be pulled off by the likes of Krusty.
3. If you are good at golf you can go places. But if you can't figure out which end of the putter to use, just giggle and bat your eyelashes.
4. When avoiding confrontation, stare at your laptop. What the heck were John and Chris looking at anyway? Sending catty IM's back and forth perhaps?
5. Don't betray your only friend. By trying to bring an ally into the boardroom, Audrey turned Angie into an enemy. Big mistake, HUGE.
6. Trump is the "Mack Daddy of the United States," at least according to Erin. Apparently having your own helicopter is an attractive feature. But is it really safe that his helicopter blades form a giant red and white target when rotating? — AC

Law & Order: Trial By Jury
OK, I'll admit it. I sometimes find it difficult to accept someone well known for a classic TV role try to tackle something new. Recent case in point: Jason Alexander on Listen Up. Newest example: Bebe Neuwirth in tonight's preview airing of the next installment of the Law & Order franchise. I kept thinking of Lilith. "Wow — Frasier would be proud." Bebe has that oh-so-distinctive voice. But it didn't ruin it for me since I thought this L&O spinoff kicked ass.

Of course there's the familiar transitional L&O sound effect (you're thinking of it right now), plus a variation of the popular L&O theme music. But I like that you get to see the lawyers coach their witnesses, plus you get to know the jurors and how they are selected (anyone who has experienced jury duty can relate). It's also fascinating to hear if the person on trial is guilty or innocent within the first 25 minutes, instead of dragging it out 'til the end.

Seems like Dick Wolf loves to use former actors from HBO's Oz. First Chris Meloni and (briefly) Dean Winters in Law & Order: SVU. Now Kirk Acevedo. Of course it always takes me a while to get used to them playing a good guy and to see them fully clothed.

Great seeing Candice Bergen as the judge (although she, like the late Jerry Orbach, is only on for a few episodes). For some reason, I accept Candice in roles beyond Murphy Brown (love her on Boston Legal). OK, during one scene I was like "Ooh, Lilith vs. Murphy" but I got over it. And it was nice to see Ben Shenkman get work post-Angels In America as the jury consultant, plus Cady Huffman, the tall blond chick from Broadway's The Producers, was a treat as the key (well-coached) witness.

The next episode, in the show's regular slot — Fridays at 10 — looks good. Maybe I'll even get beyond Lilith. — Dave Anderson