Survivor is in Guatemala, and the big twist is that two popular players are back for a second shot... and they are Stephenie and Bobby Jon from the losing Ulong tribe on Survivor: Palau. While Jeff Probst gives them a lot of credit, calling Bobby one of the hardest-working players ever, and Stephenie one of the toughest women, I think that from the outset, these two are at a disadvantage yet again. That fear is only slightly boosted when, after a 24-hour, 11-mile trek through the jungle, Bobby is dehydrated and his eyes are rolling back in his head creepy. But he's not even the most laid-up person on his new tribe, Nakum, which I can only assume is ancient Mayan for "injured," "unlucky" or "filled with weak men." One day into the game and Jim is vomiting and has torn a muscle in his arm; Bobby's got the eyeball thing going on; Blake has been hit by what looked like a porcupine stick and can't move his shoulder; and even Judd is vomiting and suffering from the condition Brandon called "premature evacuation" after he tried to get out of their canoe too early. Almost all the males are down, and thankfully nurse Margaret is there to help, but the whole situation seems kind of funny because Danni was psyched that they got Bobby over Steph, because everyone knows that "a man is just stronger than a woman." Clearly she missed Steph's rockin' performance in Palau. It looks like Danni's going to get a little taste of Steph's skills here as the strongwoman has already found herself on a team that has won more challenges than her last one. I thought it was so nice that several of Steph's female Yaxha cohorts told her that she was an inspiration to them to go on the show. Not that they won't cut her out of the tribe as soon as they get the opportunity, but they like her all the same. And I really hope sweet Steph doesn't trust that scheming Gary, who is already planning to lie about his background and name. Well Yaxha won the immunity challenge and got a goodbye from tribal council, so they'll have a few more days before the aligning and backstabbing begin. But the ailing Nakum clan sent home Jim, who is the most incapacitated by injury. I think Bobby dodged a bullet on that one. And can I just say that Jeff so didn't lie to me when he said this might be the toughest Survivor yet? These players have no supplies, already hiked through a rugged terrain, braved a night in the dark wilderness and rowed their boats ashore, and it doesn't look like the hardships are going to let up any time soon. Gotta love that. Angel Cohn
OK, my roomie recently told me that I "hate too much." Which shouldn't really irk me, since he's angry anyway. But if our Newport kids can change, I can, too. So, I've decided to shake off the h-word with a round of "Loathing, Liking, Loving." This way, we get two positives to one negative. Feel free to play along.
Loathing this social-chair Psycho-Barbie Taylor Townsend.
Liking that she's only recurring.
Loving that she's gonna need a moment of silence after Summer's done with her for ratting Coop out of the kickoff carnival.
Loathing the new dean. I don't care if Eric Mabius was hot on Eyes. You expel Marissa from the Harbor School, you suck.
Liking Julie's failed defense of her daughter. "Tall, pretty, wears Chanel? Not exactly what you'd call 'gangsta.'"
Loving that Ryan clocked the dead for manhandling his woman.
Loving even more that we'll probably find out he's bangin' Psycho-Barbie.
Loathing Charlotte's "If you go home, you'll drink" scam to keep Kirsten around. Trust me, hon, get home, get to meetings, get a sponsor and get away from rehab stalkers with remote cabins. You'll be fine.
Liking that Sandy's already on to her crazy-eyes codependent BS.
Loving the Kelly Rowan-Jeri Ryan smackdown that's coming once Kiki figures out what this booozebag freak is up to. Bring it!
Loathing Jimmy's loan-shark secret. Who else thinks he's this season's DOA?
Liking the additional screen time it gives Jules.
Loving the additional screwing it's going to give Jules. You so know he proposed to get his hands on Caleb's inheritance. Karma, babe. Stick that in your cardio-barre and smoke it.
See? No hating. And just in time for Ryan and Marissa to get down to some real lovin' next week. It's fun for everyone! Damian J. Holbrook