Perry Mason doesn't have anything on Detective Lilly Rush (Kathryn Morris). Yes, sir. It seems she just has to mention a few incriminating, but not airtight, pieces of evidence to a suspect and "Bam!" after years of silence, it's time to come clean to a very intimidating Meg Ryan look-alike. This time it was that awkward loser guy who killed his buddy over petty jealousy and 3,000 bucks. Now tell me, are we supposed to figure out the "mystery" way ahead of Lilly and the gang? If so, she should toss her partners the occasional and delicious Scooby snack during the investigation. But if not, well, at least they have some pretty cool POV camera work.
Random Trivia, Part 1: Tonight's Cold Case episode solved a crime from 1997; Titanic was released in 1997. (I know, this is one unsettling coincidence. But there's more...) Random Trivia, Part 2: Between 9 and 10 pm/ET, you could watch Victor Garber as the big boat's stuffy designer on NBC, or flip over to ABC and see him as Jack Bristow on Alias.
The Bernie Mac Show
I'll tell ya, nine out of 10 times when celebrities appear as themselves on a sitcom, it instantly becomes a cringe-worthy moment. (What's up, Will & Grace? How's Cher, Kevin Bacon, Candice Bergen and about a dozen other stars I can't think of right now?) But Bernie Mac can pull off these stunts courtesy of his already-fourth-wall-breaking confessionals. This time, Angela Bassett dropped in to give him acting tips for his first dramatic role, as a stroke victim, in a fictional film.
Angela: "How much time have you actually spent with stroke victims, you know, witnessing, observing, researching?"
Bernie: "Spending time with them? I didn't know you had to do that. I'm just acting... But first thing tomorrow, America, I'm gonna find me some stroke victims."
Poor Lindsay (Portia de Rossi). No one appreciates her. I mean, what are you gonna do when none of your dad's fellow inmates make obscene, suggestive remarks to you when you visit the old man in prison? Well, I guess you can wear a T-shirt, minus a bra, that says "Slut" on it. That should do it.
Scott Pelley's interview with Mowaffak Al-Rubaie of the Iraqi Governing Council was compelling, powerful television. As Al-Rubaie relayed the 30 minutes he spent with Saddam Hussein after his capture last week, it felt somehow satisfying to know that a citizen from his own country was, for all intents and purposes, soundly laying into the former Iraqi dictator. Al-Rubaie told him, "Saddam Hussein, may God curse what have you done to the Iraqi people. How are you going to face God in the hereafter, in the day of judgment? What are you going to say to God?"
Robbie The Reindeer
It's not easy being Rudolph's son, Robbie. The pressure can be overwhelming even for the toughest of talking reindeers. All in all, a very cute and adorable special that made good use of the Chicken Run-style of animation. My favorite part was Santa's party in which the Seal song "Crazy" was playing in the background and we pull out to reveal a real seal crooning.
NFL Football on ESPN
Joe, whattaya doin'? Even though the New England Patriots beat the N.Y. Jets, it appeared special guest Joe Namath was quite, uh, "happy" anyway. During an interview with ESPN reporter Suzy Kolber, the ex-pro leaned in to her and said, "I wanna kiss you... " Then he softly touched her face as they looked into each other's eyes. A moment passed between them. And finally they kissed, a prelude to a night of long simmering passion. (OK, obviously just kidding about everything after Namath's quote. Sheesh.)
TV Naughtiest Blunders From Around The World
It's hard to decide which group was more humiliated by this on-the-cheap clipfest: the animal kingdom at large or newscasters from the U.K. and Australia. On one hand, you have the humans swearing incessantly every time they mess up their lines. On the other, you have a chimp picking his nose, a hostile ostrich chasing after a guy in a truck, an equally vicious squirrel biting another dude, a urinating orangutan, an overly amorous cow and a farting horse. Oh, let's just call it a draw.
What does it say when I feel more cynical than perennially jaded cohost John Stossel? Before a story he admitted, "I cried when I screened this story by Bob Brown." So he really blubbered? OK, I believe him, but it's a little hard to swallow considering that the focal point of the segment was a young girl who won a big part in this year's presentation of The Nutcracker by the New York City Ballet. Wait, hold on, just thinking again about that sweet little ballerina getting all that applause at such a young age is suddenly making me well up with tears and oh, I'm sorry, no it's not.