Shoot. I better cancel next month's...

Shoot. I better cancel next month's "wilderness therapy" quickly. Otherwise I might not get a full refund. It looked so relaxing in the brochure, even retreatlike. Thank goodness for ABC's reality check. Otherwise, my potty mouth and I would be stuck carrying the largest and heaviest rock in the wild for the entire 40 days. As a former wild child, it is nice to see that the dress code for deviance has not changed: dark colors, hoods and massive amounts of eyeliner are mandatory. Furthermore, identifying troubled young ones as "Hostile Outcast" or "Angry Punk" is certainly groundbreaking. Obviously, these labels will inspire "Angry Punk" to become "Peaceful Punk" or, better still, "Happy Punk." And don't you think they feel all warm and fuzzy when the guides have names like Glacier and Boulder? While the conditions of this camp appear Survivor-esque, at least the concept behind this series is less reprehensible. Reality-show contestants proudly display their dysfunction and need to do little more than "outwit" and "outlast." The goal at Brat Camp is improving, not backstabbing to win.