Kids, I'm on Week 2 of a most heinous sinus infection. Yuck! If you read last week's column, my Tuesday "night off" was spent popping ineffective decongestants and antibiotics. Yeah, I'm bitter, but I still ain't better. So I checked into Sacred Heart Hospital for the third-season finale of Scrubs, since at least these quack doctors can make me laugh...

Turk and Carla's wedding day was trippy, as expected. Here's a trivia tidbit: It appears George Takei — best known as Star Trek's Sulu — has found himself an odd new acting niche, playing matrimonial ministers. In December, he officiated over Dru and Neil's Japanese nuptials on The Young and The Restless! But what a relief that Mr. Sulu wasn't actually the one to marry Turk and Carla. That other priest hitching the couple in the Sacred Heart ICU felt much more right. By the way, loved Jordan and Dr. Cox skipping the church wedding, then heading straight for the free eats at the reception. Who among us hasn't ever been tempted to do that?

American Idol
As Simon told Fantasia: "You and LaToya are in another league." Amen. Their caliber of talent and sass have set these two divas apart from day one. By now, I hardly need tell ya that Diana DeGarmo, George Huff and Jasmine Trias will be picked off one by one — leaving Fanny and La to thrown down in the Sistah Showdown!

This is gonna be good. Y'all know I've been rooting for LaToya all along — and she retains my full love and support. Both of her songs in this week's musical-themed edition were awesome. However, Fantasia gets props for making Paula cry by doing Barbra like buttah and dedicating it to her daughter. Nicely done. But didja see Paula's fakey Tammy Faye eyelashes and clowny makeup melting right off her face? This viewer was embarrassed for her. American Idol is a major franchise for Fox. You'd think they could hire a proper makeup artist to do Paula. Oh, and they need a clothing stylist who can dress Diana more tastefully. This is Di's second tragically unflattering frock in a row. Face it. She can sing up a storm, but these fashion faux pas must be costing her votes.

Gotta love that impossibly earnest President David Palmer. Only on The West Wing and 24 could I ever imagine a sitting U.S. president say the words: "We can't worry about the election now." Riiight. Speaking of unrealistic, it's a little tough to believe Agent Tony Almeida's treasonous turn — c'mon, another mole in CTU? (When he locked Chloe in the Tech One room, it reminded me of Gael doing the exact same thing to Kim earlier this year.) Still, if you suspended your disbelief, it was a helluva suspenseful ride! Tony fast-talked his way out of one mess into another. His wife, Michelle, kept getting gagged, manhandled and menaced with a knife, while Saunders used her to bait and control Tony. Jack got mad and took over CTU. And Chloe — ultra-efficient buttinsky that she is — worked on everyone's nerves, including mine. God love her. I just hope there's a useful pain-in-the-tush like her working in our nation's real anti-terrorist operations!

P.S. Sherri's latest evil scheme — to thwart David's election by giving his campaign rival that dirt — doesn't wash. Seems unlikely that Sherri would risk her own hide like that! But I have faith in this show, so I'll reserve judgment until some clever twist explains it all. This one had me rollin' my eyes, though, so whatever happens better be good.

P.P.S. As soon as 24 comes up with a vaccine for the lethal virus outbreak, Fox needs to send it my way c/o TV Guide. 'Cause like I said, my antibiotics haven't done the trick. And since the show's turmoil is set in L.A., where I live, I'm actually starting to get nervous. I don't look as bad as Gael did toward the end of his run, but honey, I ain't far from it!

John gets major props in my book for putting up with psycho ex-girlfriend Jen. He supports her, no matter how freaky she gets. This woman can be strapped down in restraints, sporting a tacky dye job and ranting like a loon, yet he always has her back. Meanwhile, I could be fresh from the facialist, sporting fairly tight abs, even tighter Lucky jeans and only one personality, and yet still have no man. What's wrong with this picture?

The Shield
Some last thoughts before I slather myself in Vicks Vapo Rub and go off to bed...

1. I am very disappointed in Mrs. Aceveda's reaction to the Captain finally telling her that he was raped. Where was her sympathy? Her husband was clearly in anguish. Of course, it made sense, coming from a selfish woman who's all about status and image. It also makes his shame that much more realistic. No one would blame a female rape victim for failing to "fight off" an assailant who forced her to perform oral sex at gunpoint. Most people wouldn't ask her, "How could you let this happen?" A guy doesn't get the same consideration. Somehow, he's at fault, his manhood tarnished. Watching Aceveda drive off at the episode's end — with a gun and the rapist's mug shot in his passenger seat — was riveting. Is he going off the deep end at last?
2. Vic had a busy episode, too. Using the local racial conflict to do some clever politicking, he got rid of the Decoy Squad, removed Det. Claudette Wyms as his boss and got the Strike Team back on the street. Plus, he made his wife Corinne's boyfriend look like a total wuss by getting her thug patient busted. Phew!
3. Can you believe Shane's pregnant bride stole the $7000 from the money-train loot? Wow. They really had me guessin' whodunit on that one. I've said it before, and it bears repeating: This thing with Shane and Vic is gonna get ugly.