[WARNING: The following story contains spoilers about Sunday's episode of Quantico. Read at your own risk.]
Have you ever wanted to save the world? If yes, did you ever want to go about it by planting real-but-fake bombs? Because that's what Simon did on Quantico. But he's innocent — he swears! I am inclined to believe him, if only because we know the real Grand Central bomber will be unmasked in next week's midseason finale. Plus, all the buildup and suspicion around Simon (Tate Ellington) is just too obvious.
Team Alex, including Alex (Priyanka Chopra) but not a hospitalized Ryan (Jake McLaughlin), has 24 hours to figure out who in their 61-person class is responsible for the bombing before Alex's sentencing and apparently the Democratic National Convention, where they believe the second bomb will go off. Alex somehow negotiated immunity for Team Alex as part of her guilty plea, but that bites her in the ass when Liam (Josh Hopkins) and Miranda (Aunjanue Ellis) tell her they still have to spy on Team Alex to be sure. Alex is all, "But, but, but they're my friends!" and Miranda is all, "Shut up. We have to do this for New York City."
During the covert spy games, we see Shelby (Johanna Braddy) chat with Clayton (Mark Pellegrino), Raina (Yasmine Al Massri) visit Hamza, the leader of that terrorist cell the twins were infiltrating, in the hospital, and Simon visit his bearded bomb-maker pal in a schoolyard playground in Williamsburg. "That man he's meeting, that man makes bombs!" Alex screams. In yet another display of incompetency, the agents on the ground lose them behind a school bus because they couldn't have run any slower if they tried. Sigh. The incoming vehicle block is a classic TV and movie move, but at least surround the perimeter!
Just as Team Alex realizes they're still being spied on, Simon returns to HQ to drop some truth bombs (no pun intended). "I'm the one who planned Grand Central," he says. Simon apparently went to the Dean Sanderson School of Acting — always frame things in the most dramatic way possible — because he's not actually the bomber. See, the Grand Central bombing was identical to a bomb plan he designed when he got those blueprints at Quantico. He was going to place two bombs underneath a temple and a mosque and they would've been triggered by the final evacuating train beneath each location - which was how the Grand Central bomb was detonated. But wait! He wasn't really going to detonate those two bombs. "I planned a political act, a statement on behalf of a group of people who are sick and tired of us killing each other," he says. "I never wanted my bombs to go off. I wanted to save the world." Yeah, brilliant idea. Makes total sense. Anyhow, Simon insists he's not the bomber and someone stole his plans, which I called last week. I mean, that happens when you literally leave them hanging out of your bag like this:
Simon is prepared to be arrested for treason while the rest of Team Alex disbands because they can't stand Alex's betrayal. "We're still suspects?!" "We put everything on the line for you!" Well, you didn't have to. No one on this show has any chill. The show wants to be morally gray, but it — and everyone on it — operates on irrational extremes. Slow your roll. Later that night, Alex tries to convince Simon to work with her once more at his house, but he declines because they "can't go back to Quantico." After she leaves, he gets grabbed from behind and drugged with chloroform by Elias (Rick Cosnett). Just like (?) Alex in that blind spot!
At least we eliminated one suspect? Sort of. Not really. Simon could still be involved somehow even if he's not the bomber himself. Elias could just be drugging Simon to keep him all to himself! And now, poor, innocent Alex has lost her squad. But who cares when that guilty plan is still chugging along?
Other burning questions:
Why did the past turn into Confession Hour? Is this really how the new agent review board operates? Probably not. Nathalie (Anabelle Acosta) has to explain her fake ear scar in front of the whole class. She faked it to get custody of her daughter from her emotionally — but not physically — abusive ex-boyfriend. Subtle. Then Simon, grilled by Nimah about being a "war criminal" and still ostracized for turning in Langdon last week, divulges his nefarious deeds in Gaza. Then Ryan reveals he's not a trainee but an undercover agent. Then Shelby says she loves Jacques Cousteau. Oh, wait, that was Phoebe.
"Where was your discretion when you locked me in a bathroom for 24 hours?"Simon asks Miranda after she dismisses him for attacking Ryan back in Week 3. Preach.
Why did Caleb (Graham Rogers) not lock the door when he went snooping on Shelby's computer? Or you know, close the door.
What is Shelby's sister up to? She's running a con by funneling the money Shelby's been wiring her. Caleb blackmails her over Skype to cut him in 10 percent while Shelby cries in the corner. I'm just glad her sister is real (as far as we know). I don't think I could've handled it if she weren't.
Did Ryan and Alex actually imply they love each other? OK.
Can we talk about Alex's hair? <slow clap>
Can we also talk about this? LOL.
Quantico airs Sundays at 10/9c on ABC.