Pepsi Smash I have always thought that Alicia Keys was the real deal, a true artist overshadowed in the media by manufactured moppets like Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson unfortunately lumped into the category of adolescent instrument-playing singer-songwriters along with Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton (Vanessa who? Exactly.) And while I loved, loved, loved her first song, I couldn't help but wince during her second number, when she left the piano and tried to channel her inner Beyonce by getting bootylicious while quoting Outkast ("Shake it like a Polaroid"). Anyone who's been unfortunate enough to go dancing with me knows that I'm certainly no J.Lo (hell, I'm not even Jennifer Grey), but was I the only one who thought that at one point she looked like she was standing on an exposed electrical wire?
Come to Papa And the Seinfeld curse, er, connection continues. Papa interviews a "rich guy," who's played by John O'Hurley, the same guy who played Elaine's crazy catalog-company boss, J. Peterman. But the "coincidences" don't end there. His lunch consists of a salad a big salad of tuna fish, a dish reviled by Papa here and Superman in one of those Superman-Seinfeld AMEX shorts. He also challenges Papa to come up with something that can't be made out of bamboo a la Peterman's ludicrous demands of Elaine. Oh, and the ongoing "joke" of the night? Judah's attempts to get Papa to admit that, for a price, he'd have sex with a dead guy. And people say the sitcom is dead. Well, at least this one will be soon: Since NBC only ordered four episodes, we only have one more to suffer through. Steve Carell, I'll see you at The Office.
Introducing Graham Norton British talk-show sensation Graham Norton's new show, The Graham Norton Effect ("Peep Show, Side Show, Talk Show"), debuts next week, and Comedy Central execs were smart enough to give viewers who don't get BBC America a chance to see what all of the fuss has been about thus far. After watching clips of the wonderfully cheeky Norton leg wrestle with John Malkovich, explore a "Hobbit Love" website with Elijah Wood, entice Cher to chat with a balloon fetishist and get Dolly Parton to sport a pillow modeled after her infamous bosom, I can giddily report that this is one British invasion America shouldn't resist.
Celebrity Poker Showdown Given all the hype Bravo gave to Matthew Perry's appearance tonight, I should have seen it coming that he was going to be a lousy poker player. But who cares because he looks hot! A blazer, much like a baseball cap in appropriate settings, ups a guy's cuteness factor immeasurably. Combine the jacket with those sexy specs (minus the scruff, though) and any woman within sight is gonna swoon. My favorite Goonie, Sean Astin was actually the worst player, pulling an Adam Rodriguez on the third hand. (BTW: Did anyone else cringe when he cluelessly summoned a cocktail waitress to fetch Perry a drink in the Losers' Lounge? Where's he been for the past five years New Zealand?) Christopher Masterson is so much cuter (translation: less scary) than his brother Danny, although a clean T-shirt would have been nice. And then we have the Boobsey, er Bobbsey Twins, Lauren Graham and Sara Rue. Sara's really cute but she's perched on the precipice of becoming the next Julie Brown. Earth Girls Are Easy Julie Brown, not Downtown "Wubba, Wubba, Wubba" Julie Brown. But the real loser of the night was the actual winner, Lauren Graham, who laid on the giggly, jiggly dumb-chick act way too thick. Betting a "thousand shmollars"?! I think Sara summed it up best when she said Lauren's behavior was "embarrassing to all womankind."
Victoria's Secret Semiannual Sale I love how this enticing ad for the lingerie chain employs a sexy English woman's voice to announce its much-anticipated saleapolooza of bras and panties (somehow less blush-inducing when a Brit says it), when anyone who's ever braved the first few days of this event can attest to the fact that it's about as sophisticated and genteel as the $20-ticket line at Avenue Q. To quote Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie: "These women are vicious they kill their own."