Last night Annabella Sciorra's Det. Carolyn Barek climbed aboard the L&O express marked Criminal Intent to be Mike Logan's partner. Interesting facts: Carolyn grows her own grub (she gave her partner a cherry I don't know if it had a stone), and she can speak approximately 168 languages (including Russian, Cantonese and Creole). Dear Eames is probably fuming with envy. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Eames punches Goren in the stomach and pops him upside the pate the way Moe used to when he disciplined Curly. But I digress. The Logan-Barek team opened their casebook by hunting for Johnny the berserk killer junkie. Johnny's mom Dee Dee used him to rob jewelry stores to feed her smack cravings. This caused some suppressed anger that he later expressed by gunning down store owners with happy families. Four decades ago, that would've earned the cat a Manson-family merit badge. Homicidal tendencies aside, it was hard to hate Johnny because, well, he was raised in a foster home where he was traumatized by the household chores (e.g., making his bed, taking out the garbage) forced upon him by patronizing liberals. Unfortunately, the link between bloodthirsty insanity and foster homes is not something underworked, overpaid social workers are likely to mention because they'd lose their cushy jobs. Goaded by Carolyn, Big Mike admitted he related to Johnny's rage. Years ago, Mama Logan forced our hero to get her booze and then thumped the poor sod in a drunken fury. That's why Mike is among those one least wishes to have pressing a broken pool cue against one's throat. "Everybody thinks I'm a ticking time bomb!" he roared at the mook who fenced Johnny's hot diamonds. "Who knows when I'll blow?!!!" Mike's not all anger, however. Now that Lennie Briscoe has joined that Dick Wolf spin-off in the sky, Mike is the keeper of the quip. The best moment of the whole tale was when Mike patiently waited for that bloated horse-head to squirm out the bar's back window ("What's your hurry? Got a date with a doughnut?"). Yuks aside, I hope Mike makes a habit of erupting, because volcanoes make for fab TV. And if anyone can weather Magma Mike's fiery embers, it's our cool Carolyn.
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