Our top moments of the week:
12. Worst He Said, He Said: On The Bachelorette, the group's resident instigator J.J. tells Marquel that when he received the rose on the very first night, Andrew whispered to him that Andi kept the two "blackies," referring to Marquel and Ron. Marquel confronts Andrew about the comment, which he of course denies. (J.J. maintains he wasn't lying.) Regardless, both Andrew and Marquel are eliminated. While we don't feel too bad for Andrew (see here), we're bummed to see the slick-dressed, always smiling Marquel. But hey, at least he's now in paradise!
11. Best Delivery: Maggie goes into labor on Playing House, but she has serious trouble finding the necessary strength to give birth. As encouragement, Emma tells Maggie that her late mom is there in the delivery room "wearing that weird housecoat that she used to wear in high school," and to squeeze both her and her mom's hands to push one last time. Hope the baby isn't afraid of ghosts!
10. Worst Call: On Rizzoli & Isles, Korsak gets the call we've all been dreading since Lee Thompson Young's death last August: Frost has died in a car accident. Jane arrives at the scene just as Maura is zipping up his body bag. "He was already gone," she says before embracing Jane. Next week's tribute ought to be a doozy.
9. Worst Reveal: New Real Housewives of Orange County cast member Shannon Beador is forced to go in for tests after she starts experiencing chest pains, but it's the emotional pain she's feeling that is truly shocking. In her confessional, intercut with her doctor's visit, Shannon reveals her husband wrote her an e-mail saying that he should move out for awhile. "Divorce it not an option. I love my husband, and I want to grow old with him," she tells the camera as tears run down her face. Seriously, the Real Housewives may have a worse track record for marriage than The Bachelor at this point.
8. Best Heart-to-Heart: When Rectify returns for its second season, we find Daniel in a coma after getting beaten by Bobby Dean in last year's finale. In a moving and entirely subconscious conversation with his late Death Row BFF Kerwin, Daniel wonders whether he should or even has the desire return to the outside world he had been closed off from for 19 years. "Everything out here is just so complicated," he says. The imaginary Kerwin reveals that the only thing that kept him going while incarcerated was the hope that Daniel would one day get out, but stops short of telling him to wake up. "If you're lying in a coma and you just can't deal with it anymore ... and you're ready to see what's on the other side, it's just not my place to tell you what to do, brother," he says. "But whatever you decide, I'll still love you, D, always. Forever and always."
7. Best Reveal: Oh, brother! Or should we say, oh sister? After Emma told Divya in the final moments of last week's season premiere that she went to Shadow Pond looking for her father, Royal Pains fans finally learn the identity of mysterious Emma's dad: the one and only Eddie R. Lawson! This means Evan and Hank have a half sister ... and that apparently they got their curly brown hair from mom's side of the family.
6. Best Spellbinding Performance: The Tonight Show travels down to Orlando to celebrate the opening of Diagon Alley at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park and apparently no one is more excited about the trip than The Roots' Tariq Trotter. He steps up to the mic and delivers a flawless 60-second rap about butterbeer, Dumbledore and Azkaban. Team Gryffindor for the win!
5. Worst Plug: Let's hope they're paying Josh Groban the big bucks for this. During a lengthy interlude on The Bachelorette, ABC tests out its real-time voting system for its new singing competition show Rising Star, which is hosted by Groban. Things get off on the wrong foot when heavy clouds delay judge Ludacris in his helicopter, and they only grow more awkward when Groban instructs America to download the app to vote to raise the literal wall behind him in order to see a brand new Bachelor in Paradise clip. Although the process feels like approximately 34 hours, it only takes a couple of minutes to secure enough "votes." Supposedly, it takes so long because Groban insists that judges Brad Paisley and Kesha to chime in too. Because, you know, besides that, it is all totally legit.
4. Worst Predator: On the season finale of Fargo, sadistic hitman Malvo is the one who's used to preying on the weak, but this time he discovers what it's like to be the hunted. First, he literally steps into a bear trap that Lester plants in his bedroom. Later, after the most stomach-turning scene of DIY-doctoring we've seen on TV, he's a sitting duck when cop-turned-mailman Gus surprises him in his cabin and riddles him with bullets. Did you see that one coming? Yes or no?
3. Best Dream Come True: And here we thought Clint Dempsey's historic goal 30 seconds into the United States' opening World Cup match against Ghana would be the game's biggest moment. After Ghana leveled the match in the 82nd minute, things looked less promising. But then just four minutes later, off a corner kick, sub John Brooks, in his World Cup debut, knocks a header in for a 2-1 victory. The best part? Brooks had a dream two nights earlier that he would score a header off a corner kick in the 80th minute. Close enough.
2. Best Sacrifice: On 24: Live Another Day, President Heller really takes one for the team. After all other attempts to stop Margot Al-Harazi fail, Heller courageously agrees to turn himself over to the terrorist to prevent further attacker by her on London. Although Jack warns that Margot can't be taken at her word, Heller insists that, with his Alzheimer's, the best days of his life are already behind him and he must try to save lives. So, he marches to the middle of Wembley Stadium where, in true 24 fashion, Margot promptly explodes him with one of her drone missiles. The scene might not be super realistic, but Heller's heroism certainly feels true.
1. Worst Father's Day Present: On Game of Thrones' super-sized Season 4 finale, Tyrion Lannister escapes from prison the night before he's going to be executed. But before The Imp flees the city, he corners his father who is sitting on the privy and asks why Tywin sentenced him to death. The heart-to-heart with dear old dad finishes with the ultimate conversation ender: Tyrion shoots two arrows into Tywin with a crossbow. As Father's Day gifts go, it's no snazzy necktie, but at least it landed him on this dubiously impressive list.
What were your top moments?