At like, 8:58, I was giddy that the girls were coming back, loaded with six Emmys and tons of expectations. And you know what? Eh. Even the "Oh, my god" moment of Zach's so-called death was smudged first by his not being dead, then by Susan's ditching Mike over his creepy love child. Come on. We probably won't see the man-fro'd geek for a few more episodes, and James Denton has apparently upped his cardio. Have at it, woman! You too, Gaby. Carlos is still locked up, he thinks it's his baby now go get that John boy back! Roses, non-alkie mimosas, those abs? Give that up, you're as dumb as you are slutty. As for my Bree, I'm loving her going head-to-twisted-head with Rex's mom and the idea of a Marcia Cross meltdown gives me the vapors. But replacing his prep-school tie mid-funeral? Please, the widow Van de Kamp would so know that was poor form. Though she does get line-of-the-night for that "I will go nondenominational so fast" threat to switch churches just to bar her monster-in-law from the service. And speaking of burials, are they trying to kill Felicity Huffman's shot at a second statue? Having Lynette cart Penny to an interview was silly enough. That she scored the job while changing a diaper had my eyes rolling in new and exciting ways, OK? I half-expected the boss to throw in a "You've got moxie" after he hired her. Don't get me wrong; I adore my Wisterians. I just wish there had been more "Wow." And more Alfre Woodard. Hopefully we'll get both soon, on top of some info about the Applewhites' basement prisoner. Until then, let's all ponder whether Matthew is really Betty's son, and which of our Housewives had a little work done over the summer. Other than the obvious, of course. We'll discuss next week.
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