You know what, Gina's right. People move all the time. And I'm going to take the advice she intended for her little brother but I heard as if she said it for me and "get over it." I've been in New York longer than I care to say. I need to stop talking about moving here as if it were some big thing. I changed cities and jobs and made new friends. It's called moving on. Thank you, Gina. Who knew I'd learn such a life lesson from a Tribbiani?
The Yasur women are crazy. There, I said it. I hate to be a traitor to my sex, but they are seriously trippin'. They voted off strong performer Lisa over weaker, bugged-eyed Eliza, who's been as much of a burden to them as Scout. (And by the way, I did not think the senior missus would make it this far.) But at least Scout has an excuse: She's a lot older and she has a bum knee. Eliza is just a wuss. During the pig challenge Little Miss Motormouth seemed more concerned about her bikini bottom than with completing the task. Then, after she blew the challenge, she had the nerve to sit down and cry and place blame on the old lady. "I like Scout as a person," she said. "I wish she wasn't here. I just think that if she wasn't here, then that would have been a challenge where I would have been a gatekeeper. But because we have Scout and she's got her knee...." Blah, blah, blah. You've got to be kidding me! I would call Eliza a tramp, but I'm reserving that for Julie's I-need-an-allover-tan near-naked sunbathing move. I know a girl's gotta use every advantage she's got. But dang. Going commando when there's no peanut butter and chocolate reward or anything involved? That's a little obvious, not mention skankalicious.
Life as We Know It
Corrupt teachers aside, I thoroughly enjoyed tonight's episode. But as usual, I have more than a few things to say. Here goes:
1. Dino's mouth is out of control. And I'm not talking about the sex talk. I don't care if he did catch his mother cheating on his father, he still shouldn't talk to her like that! I mean, what's with kids these days? They're mouthing back all over prime time.
2. For a teacher, Miss Young is not too bright... Trying to have sex with Ben in a VW bug. Come on! Credit problems or not, she still could have taken him to a no-tell motel or something. (Not that I condone her Mary Kay moves or anything.)
3. Finally someone else says Sean Faris (aka Dino) looks just like Tom Cruise!
4. So Jonathan is mature enough to try to enter "virgin territory" but not to go through with the condom-shopping. Boys. Even though Deb and Jonathan's condom-shopping fiasco was clichéd, it was still funny. And I liked that writers made the Deb more experienced and comfortable with sex without making her slutty. I'm still waiting on Kelly Osbourne's skills to improve, though.
5. Dino's mom was shocked and hurt that the coach quickly gave in when she told him they needed to end it. Oh, boohoo. "Fine?? Fine?!" she said. "Do you think it's easy for me?" he replied. "I don't want to stop this." Of course he said fine. And of course he doesn't want to stop "it." If she hadn't been married and essentially unavailable in the first place, he probably wouldn't have wanted to start it, either. Men.
6. And poor deluded Michael, thinking a new job will equal renewed happiness in his marriage. If only it were that easy.
7. Dino and his girlfriend's argument was way too mature. Seriously. At times it sounded just like the arguments my grown-ass friends tell me about.
Burger King's Chicken Fight Commercial
What's wrong with the Burger King people? First they had a guy wake up to find a weird King in his bed. Now this.... Please seek help somewhere.
Oh, and a note to my friends: A little Botox is OK. You can even let medicine laced with harmless doses of arsenic slide. But please, if you love me, stop me from making like the women in tonight's episode and drinking my own urine in an effort to stay young.
I promise this will be the last list tonight. For real.
Five quick hits:
1. Trump calls a surprise board meeting. Then he complains, "You all look so different" when the players show up in their casual clothes and berates them for not being prepared. What did he expect, for them to sleep in three-piece suits?
2. Stockbroker Chris and his this-is-beneath-me attitude about tonight's dog-washing assignment was annoying. He knows where he can stick his Rolex Presidential, right?
3. Oh, the cute doggies!
4. Trump says, "I hate people who exaggerate." The nerve. Does he also hate himself? 'Cause he's an exaggerating hype man if ever there was one.
5. Finally, annoying little Stacie gets fired. Yay! But how shocking was it to see that she was not much taller than her luggage?
The Citibank Commercial
"Maybe I can help, I speak phone." [Insert the sound of me laughing my "Beep!" off ]
That Abby really is a good woman. First she let Neela stay with her. Then she started covering/trying to help the OCD doc. And tonight it looks like she blew her mandatory ride-along credit to stay with a scared little girl. Maybe she is an angel. On a different note, just once I'd like a single black mother patient to be on this show and not be cracked out or crazy or yelling "Oh, my baby. My baby!" Speaking of infants, Carter is still mourning the loss of his child. And tonight he lost a young patient. Ugh. I can't watch him suffer like this.
Tonight they ran their much-pubbed Sex in America poll special. And, OK. I don't want to think about the fact that, statistically speaking, more than half of my coworkers have had sex outdoors. Great. Thanks, ABC. But seriously, their interesting results were so poorly packaged that they might as well have just played a PowerPoint presentation. Yes, it was that boring! You'd think, with them broadcasting live from Times Square — right outside of MTV — that they might have learned a thing or two from the music network. Not for nothing, but the news team at MTV would have done a spanking good job with this poll. They would have jazzed it up with videos, clips, quirky commentary and slicker presentation. The PrimeTime Live producers wasted a golden opportunity here. Got that, PrimeTime Barely Live? Shame on you.
The TNT Without a Trace commercial
And the winner of the They Think They're Slick award goes to the people behind this cheap-looking spot. Seriously. TNT may know drama, but the buyers behind this ad know how to slip in a commercial for ER's competition — during ER! Did you catch that? I mean, for a second I was confused. Is this really a commercial for Without a Trace — a competing CBS show — running on NBC during its competitor's time slot? Sure, technically it was for Trace repeats on TNT. But it aired during the half-hour break on ER. So if I were a Nielsen household, I could have been reminded that "Oh, Without a Trace is on right now", then turned the channel and given them a ratings bump for the second half hour. That was a brilliant move right there. Slick and smooth.