I've decided that the most entertaining thing about this season is the opening title sequence, in which the D-listers are turned into a scary two-dimensional funhouse ride. Too bad they're turning out to be so one-dimensional on the show. And considering that there are hardly any scenes of the Lifers at home almost the entire show is about their highly structured tasks I'm thinking they're not so interesting in their downtime. Jose wearing the stockings from the burlesque show doesn't even seem that risqué when you consider they look exactly like baseball players' socks. So it's extreme-makeover day (which, sadly, has nothing to do with watching Janice under the knife), and to stir up inevitable conflict, Omarosa is made the manager of their job redoing the backyard playground at a battered-women's shelter, even though Carey has experience in landscape work. Before things get started, Janice treats the world to the vision of her thong-wearing butt sticking out the van window, and that's definitely better for her kids to see than her performing a tame strip show for charity. Omarosa declares Janice insane and yet continues to refer to herself in the third person. Bronson has confessed to us that his father beat his mother, and I wonder if this somehow justifies the way he continues to lunge at Janice at every opportunity. He also introduces a new word into my vocabulary with this diagnosis: "Candy-assitis is spreading like wildfire." Icky. Omarosa and the megaphone she stole from Ty Pennington are powerless to control this condition. But ta-da! Carey saves the day simply by assigning tasks to specific people. Nice to see him get some screen time. And I'm glad the women and children of the Jennesse Center didn't have to suffer just so we at home could enjoy watching celebrities prove their uselessness. This way, everybody wins.
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