Heidi's New Single: Is Montag Pop-star Worthy?

Spencer Pratt gave TV Guide a sneak listen of Heidi's new single, so New-York-based editor Mickey O'Connor and I were of course obliged to have a little bicoastal IM sesh about the Hills star's latest stab at pop stardom. Give a listen and then give us your take on her pop chops. - Anna Dimond
ohmickeyursofine: Let's start with the stoopid trend to shout your name at the beginning of your song.
ohmickeyursofine: HEIDI!
ohmickeyursofine: It's no "Britney, b----!"
dimondis4eva:No, it's less a rallying cry than an apology
dimondis4eva:like setting our expectations about where they should be
ohmickeyursofine: And what's with the faux-exotic "accent"?
dimondis4eva:It's kind of like the Harajuku girls, but it should be French and/or Italian, no?
ohmickeyursofine: I could be convinced to like the beat
dimondis4eva:Same - the first few bass beats pulled me in
ohmickeyursofine: I mean, it's nothing ground-breaking, but it makes me move a little
dimondis4eva:I've been trying to envision dancing to this at a club
dimondis4eva:without having to put on an ironic face
ohmickeyursofine: "Fashion/Put it all on me/Don't you want to see these clothes on me"
ohmickeyursofine: I'm glad you brought up irony
dimondis4eva:Why's that?
ohmickeyursofine: Because I think recording a song about clothes WITHOUT a sense of irony is kind of despicable, no?
ohmickeyursofine: I mean, this song is totally irony-free
dimondis4eva:And there, I think, is the big sticking point.
dimondis4eva:It makes me sad.
dimondis4eva:I really was plugging for Speidi.
ohmickeyursofine: you WERE?
dimondis4eva:Yeah! It's just Spence and Heidi, against the world!
dimondis4eva:And yet I kind of thank them for the fodder.
dimondis4eva:Spencer gives great sound bites.
ohmickeyursofine: I appreciate the honesty of his/their brazenness
ohmickeyursofine: They're like: Forget decency, let's see what we can get
dimondis4eva:Exactly. No one else comes clean about blatantly hustling
ohmickeyursofine: I just wish they had talent
dimondis4eva:That's kind of the missing X-factor, now, isn't it?
dimondis4eva:But you've got to give them credit for turning...
ohmickeyursofine: ...a sow's ear into a satin purse? Is that the expression?
dimondis4eva:Girl's gotta accessorize!
ohmickeyursofine: I don't know/care, but can we discuss the BLASPHEMY of recording a song called "Fashion" that isn't, you know, "FASHION"
ohmickeyursofine: Bowie craps out things cooler than Speidi
dimondis4eva:I know; I'm getting sucked into Bowie now
ohmickeyursofine: The hell with Speidi - let's just talk about Bowie.
dimondis4eva:I think he understands irony a little better than the Speidsters
dimondis4eva:You know, I saw a new Flight of the Conchords video today
dimondis4eva:THEY understand irony!
ohmickeyursofine: Actually! They have a song called "Bowie in Space," from an ep where Bret kept hallucinating different Bowies
dimondis4eva:Haven't seen that yet!
ohmickeyursofine: Today's lesson for the kids: Irony 101
ohmickeyursofine: Caribbean, Parisian, Bolivian, Namibian, East Indochinian, Republic of Dominican!
dimondis4eva:OK, I'm laughing too hard to write now. "Brunettes, not fighter jets!"
ohmickeyursofine: I appreciate silly songs when I feel like the artist "gets it"
ohmickeyursofine: in Speidi's case, not so much
ohmickeyursofine: right?
ohmickeyursofine: i wish i could roller-skate
dimondis4eva:Yup. That's really what makes me feel kind of sad: there's no complicity w the audience
dimondis4eva:I used to be reallllly good at rollerskating
dimondis4eva:and now I want that one-piece