Gilmore Girls
OK. So the newly reunited Rory and Dean can't hang out at his place (thanks to his creepy mom) or in Rory's suite at Yale (thanks to crazy Paris). And Rory's car is just too small for their rendezvous, so they give up. Puh-leeze. What kind of teenagers are they? Seriously. These two need to make like the hormone-crazed kids that they still are and use a little imagination. Oh, and another thing: The Stars Hollow town-selectman election turnout was out of control. No town anywhere (including, I'm sure, Australia, where voting is mandatory) has that kind of voter turnout!

The Latest Old Navy Commercial
What kind of lottery did my eyes just lose? I liked the first Feel Good Fashion spot. And loved the second one, where the girl flips out in history class. ("Thanks... First Guy, for writing things down!") But this one's disappointing. Some lady rejoices over the air in her office? Come on now. No piece of clothing could ever make you get that excited over recycled office air. Every cube-dweller knows that.

All of Us
Daaaang! Tia finally decided to go back to Robert. "I'm ready to make the first step," she said. But now Robert's not having it. Ouch. Well, Tia, I feel for you, girl. But you did leave him, so now you've just got to suffer. Because, as my mother loves to say... you never miss the water until your well runs dry.

Now, Shelley taking the stereo speakers back was petty. But JT stealing her car? That was an actual crime. I'm just saying. They were both wrong. But they could have saved each other a lot of heartache and pain if they'd just gone by my standby rule: If you give it, I keep it (cause I might need to burn it in a weepy, post-breakup rage). And if you leave it, it's mine. I mean, the toothbrush a girl uses to clean the crevices in the toilet has to come from somewhere, right?

Veronica Mars
Seven Things:
1. Am I the only one who thinks this show is a live-action Inspector Gadget with Kristen Bell playing the roll of Penny?
2. Enough with the sex in the car already. First Rory and Dean tried to make out in her car on Gilmore Girls. Then I turn to this show and Veronica's dreaming about making the bumpers bounce with Duncan. Flash forward 20 minutes and Duncan's pushing the seat back with some girl who's not Veronica, but he calls her Veronica (big oops!). That's three times in one night. Doesn't anyone do it anywhere else?
3. Speaking of doing things... I've done what Veronica did to Troy! I've given the hand when I should have given a kiss. That, plus my diminishing vocab (Note to self: Must use bigger words.) is proof positive that I am perennially 16.
4. Veronica's post-date "lousy conversation, but the sex was great" comment to her dad (!) was just wrong. Some things should not be joked about with your father.
5. Holy sex change. I wasn't expecting Justin's dad to be a dame. Thank goodness, though. Because that woman was way too Mary Kay Letourneau about that teenage boy's movie suggestions at the video store. And that was creeping me out.
6. I am so glad Veronica didn't find (or even see) her mom in this episode. That would have been too soon. Actually, I think Veronica should have driven four hours to find an empty house. Finding her mother's best friend was too convenient. But what do I know?
7. Oh, and you know that scene early on where Duncan's floating in the pool with his iPod on his chest? Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen. Quite a few of my coworkers are in the iPod cult and none — as in NOT A single ONE — would risk dunking their $200 'pod into a pool.

Snoop's Burger King Commercial
Oh the irony! Snoop's doing a pro-voting PSA. Now, I could be wrong. But I thought Mr. Calvin Broadus was a convicted felon. And, as such, he can't actually vote, can he? While I'm on the topic, how does that work, anyway? I mean, how long after a person gets out of prison are they not allowed to vote? For life or just for a few years?

I am sure that somewhere, on some level, it is all kinds of wrong to laugh as hard as I did while watching tonight's episode about JD trying to cope with the death of his father. From JD's big brother Dan taking to the tub to mourn to Turk's "devil woman gave me diabetes," the randomness of the Love Connection guy, Ted's Ronald McDonald hair and The Janitor tricking Dr. Kelso into thinking he's got Alzheimer's... I was rolling. Seriously. My abs got a great workout. When the show ended — all too soon! — I was sad. So I did what I do every week after watching the funniest show in prime time. I hit rewind and watched it again. Bill Lawrence, I think I love you!

The New iPod Commercial U2... What?! Those iPod people must have mad magic powers or something to get U2 to shill for them. Wow.

Take 1: Lord help me because there is not enough space for me to talk about the unintentional Zoolander-esque hilarity that is this show. Seriously. I can't even form complete sentences right now. That model-boot-camp scene where Bruce Hulse yelled "Do it!! Strip.. now!" And then the guys had to strip down to their "skivvies" and let Hulse critique their bodies while the camera slowly panned over their, uh, bulges.... It's so awful. And yet I can't stop watching!
Take 2: They're skydiving in their Calvin Kleins! Um. OK, Rochell. Focus. Lust is a terrible sin.
Take 3: All right. I must say this: In theory, Manhunt is the perfect reality show for me. It's supposed to be all gorgeous men all the time. (Thanks, Bravo!) But in actuality... it's not. These guys are wannabe male models, which means there are some super-hot boys in the bunch (Hi, Kevin! Hi, Matthew! Hi, Paulo and the virgin Seth!), but most of them are just odd-looking in a photogenic way. They're high-maintenance Vanity Smurfs. And, I hate to say it, but they're kinda dumb. Seriously. This is why pretty boys shouldn't talk. — Since Daniel R. Coleridge is on assignment, Rochell graciously filled in for today's column. This week you'll find the Party Boy on the Thursday-night beat.