Gilmore Girls
I know I've ranted about this before, but... Could this whole thing with Lorelai dating Digger be any more of a stretch? In my world, when a workaholic brings his cell phone on a date and talks to it more than me, it's not cute. It's over.

When Emily scoffs at the idea of these two as a couple, I think we're meant to see Lorelai's mother as a benighted old fussbudget. Like, "Oh, Emily, if only you knew..." Yet, once again, I gotta side with Emily here. They're all wrong for each other! It seems clear Gilmore Girls is just biding time, milking the unspoken longing between Lorelai and Luke. But in the meantime, could she please have a less-annoying romantic diversion to play with?

Speaking of annoying, Milo Ventimiglia comes back for a two-episode stint as bad boy Jess. But we had to wait until the second episode for him and Rory to actually interact? C'mon! Yes, it was a sweet moment when he blurted out "I love you" to Rory and split. Still, if he's not returning to Stars Hollow for keeps, I would rather he'd have just stayed gone. Rory's in college now, so it's weird this pretty, vivacious girl hasn't hooked up with somebody new. Ah, but maybe she will... Notice how horribly Paris treated her Princeton stud Jamie — and how much Rory was worried for his feelings. Rory should totally get with him! Ya just know Paris would have the nerve to be jealous, even though she dumped Jamie after cheating on him with the professor. So there's plenty of dramatic potential there. Just think: Ivy League passion! Catfights! Some semblance of a life for Rory apart from her codependent sister-mom!

Will & Grace
Cool to see Dave Foley from Newsradio and Kids in the Hall again. His goofy insta-relationship with Jack was a hoot. And though two guys calling themselves "boyfriends" after a mere daylong acquaintance sounds implausible, it ain't. (I must confess: I've kinda been there.) Will & Grace has its off nights from time to time, but this supersized episode really kept me giggling. Grace and Karen's rustic road trip to Vermont was classic. Especially when Karen offered to go "rustle us up some grub," then pulled a handgun out of her purse. Also love that they're keeping up the running joke about Karen's bisexual leanings toward Grace. From the kiss goodnight in bed to that naughty moment on the car ride home! But, honey, I don't ever want to see Karen wearing leopard or zebra prints again. She's looking too much like Suzanne Pleshette's character in Good Morning, Miami — and that's just not right.

America's Next Top Model
I wasn't shocked by judge Janice Dickinson quizzing the Model wannabes about their sexual histories. Yawn. But I was horrified at the close-up shots of this ex-supermodel during the grilling session. What a fright! Janice's caked-on makeup and arched eyebrows make The Surreal Life's Tammy Faye look downright tasteful.

Who's the special guest star of the week? It's Michael J. Fox, popping in to play doctor. Cute. Not nearly cute enough to divert me from my obsession with...

Some might say tonight's Sherry Palmer subplot was too soapy and over the top. But I would never be one of those people. As a soap fan, I loved how the former first lady fought Alan Milliken's treachery with fire and won. Oh, it was glorious. First, she confronts the crusty zillionaire with his sudsy secret — something about Alan paying a guy hush money after accidentally killing his daughter. Then, Miss Sherry proceeds to emasculate him with sassy comments about his sexual inadequacy, until he falls over in his wheelchair. To top it off, Sherri won't let Alan's trophy wife give him the heart medicine pills! "This is your way out, honey," the devil woman warns. And through it all, Penny Johnson Jerald's hair looked fabulous. I swear, when they cut to commercial, I half expected an announcer to say, "Dynasty will return in a moment."

NYPD Blue Finally! Line of Fire's gone and Blue's back. To remind fans why we're loyal to the show, they wisely open the episode with a Mark-Paul Gosselaar bed scene. Sadly, we learn John's crazy sexpot girlfriend, Jen, is now on psychiatric meds — which keep her on an even keel but totally kill her sex drive. She's between the sheets with a dreamboat, yet she feels nothing. The meds have stolen her mojo! So she reluctantly breaks up with him. Wow, what a cruel, Prozac Nation-esque twist of fate. Looking at Gosselaar in the buff, I'm thinkin' what Jen's thinkin': Maybe sanity is overrated?