Quote of the Night:
"Maybe it's just as well. I'm lactose intolerant." — Jennifer Tilly's exit line to Kelsey Grammer at the conclusion of their unsuccessful date.

I love that wacky Jen Tilly (and her silly voice) in anything she does. Especially liked her better than Laura Linney, whose character has fortunately called it quits with Frasier, too. Didn't like them together. Oscar nominee or no, I catch Linney "acting" too often, so that it feels too much like you're watching a really earnest thespian practicing her craft in a play. It doesn't feel real. Then again, I'm watching a sitcom, so what the heck do I expect?

American Idol
Random thoughts on this week's Elton John-themed AI performance episode:

1. There are two guys in Hollywood who can pull off stylish scruff well: George Michael and me. Ryan Seacrest, on the other hand, needs a shave. He's starting to look like a hobo.
2. Jon Peter Lewis makes me wince. I want to think he's good, but it's hard to root for the kid when I feel compelled to watch his performances through my fingers. His "Rocket Man" was just painful. Also, JPL and George Huff both need to stop dancing. Although at least Huff could sing. If it weren't for the bouncing up and down, he almost came across cool this time!
3. John Stevens looks cute with his red hair mussed up. And that's about the best I can possibly say about his singing right now.
4. Camile Velasco makes me sing the blues when she croons "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road." Or anything really. Her banshee moaning makes me feel a bit suicidal. She's like one of those Dementors from the Harry Potter novels in that way. Fortunately, LaToya London crooned "Someone Saved My Life Tonight," which made me cheer up and put the sleeping pills back in the cupboard. Thanks, LaToya. Camile drove me to the edge, but you sang me away from it.
5. Poor Diana DeGarmo. She showed great spunk, but wasn't in fine voice. Happily, Paula Abdul explained that she's "not in good health." So she's just sick folks, not sucky. I fear she may hit the bottom three again in votes, but hopefully, she can continue to sing "I'm Still Standin'" after tomorrow's results show.
6. Amy Adams is cool to keep attending the performances even after her ouster last week. She must be the most boisterous audience member of them all!
7. Fantasia Barrino and Jennifer Hudson both did splendidly. But they still ain't gon' take down Miss LaToya, so they bettah recognize and give it up.
8. Why wasn't Elton John more meowy? His post-practice criticisms of the Idol kids who botched his music were so disappointingly reserved. If Elton were being his true self, he could've shown Simon what a real British queen sounds like!

Speaking of bitchy Brits, how about that cad Saunders ordering President Palmer to whack Chappelle? That takes chutzpah! But I was most impressed by Gael's farewell. Despite his suffering, he refused Michelle's offer to take his own life, sticking to his personal beliefs — and giving viewers at home a proper sense of how nasty that lethal virus is. Pustules aren't pretty, that's all I have to say. Will any infected hotel guests opt to check out using those poison capsules Michelle requested? I'm just dying to find out. (Tee hee!)

Turk having to explain to that teenage nerd boy what "tail" means made me giggle. The gags on this show are totally sophomoric, but sometimes we need a little of that, you know?

The Shield
This episode, entitled "Mum" — as in keeping mum — was tough to watch. Definitely a tearjerker. My eyes welled up and my bottom lip quivered just a little bit, I admit it. The whole thing was about rape and the deep shame a victim carries after the crime. How interesting and completely unexpected that the Cuddler Rapist storyline (about a home invader who sexually assaults elderly ladies) was juxtaposed with Capt. David Aceveda's own shocking rape! God, that was hard to watch. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, but it was. Rape happens to men too, though it's a very uncomfortable reality we don't like to think about. Or talk about. It'll be fascinating to watch the emotional ramifications of this play out in Aceveda's life as this season goes on.

Apart from that, Vic finally found out his money-train stash contained marked bills. It's about time. Michael Chiklis sure was called upon to register a lot of shock with those baby blues of his throughout this ep, wasn't he? Another shocker: Tavon actually lived after crashing through that windshield. Considering the severity of the beating he took before the car crash even happened, I was sure he'd died! Will he survive to tell on Shane and his pregnant bride-to-be? Somehow, I'm guessing not.