At first I don't know whether to be outraged or amused. Outraged on behalf of the poor Joes forced to relive their junior-high nightmares. And even angrier as a feminist at the implication that those stereotypical so-called hunks are what all women are secretly weak at the knees for. But then the editing goes over-the-top dramatic, the producers throw in a sloppy-Joe-eating contest (get it?) and a reenactment of the Top Gun volleyball game that made us all wonder about Tom Cruise, and all bets are off. This show is making fun of everyone involved and every time you dare take it seriously, the scenarios get more ridiculous. And Cro-Magnon nightclub owner Chris Carson has got to be in on the game. How else to explain why Anna has kept him around? I swear, if I ever saw him and his icky deodorant-marked shoulders swaggering toward me in a bar, I'd be outta there before you can say "How you doin'?" Bravo, Dante. You're a true hero for responding to his alpha-male act with a kiss. Love the new teeth, too.
How much is Anna loving her hostess duties, Britney Spears costumes included? It's got to be a power trip ordering around a bunch of guys in leotards and earmuffs. (Then again, I wonder how she feels about the Hunks not deeming her worth ruining their diets for in the eating contest.) Don't blame her for making out with Hunk No. 1, Rocky (who is making this stuff up?); he's pretty to look at, acted like a good sportsman in the ring and by going straight to the kissing she could shut him the hell up about being "a dreamer." Then comes Hunk No. 2, aka Josh No. 56, who's looking like a real threat: 1) He's a Vegas boy; 2) he showed vulnerability by getting pinned by little Jason; 3) he's a freakin' ballet dancer. I'm not sure how to read her reaction to the sober-for-eight-months tidbit could be a good sign or a really, really bad one. Whatever, I'm still crushing on Josh No. 1, the cancer patient therapist who is smokin' with and without his glasses. He also made the most astute observation about the growing romance between his new rivals, Michael and Carson. Mike's parting sour grapes sounded like a declaration of love for Early Man: "I'd hate to see [Carson] with [Anna] in the end, because then she may end up tagging along with us." Think he'll get thrown through a wall for that one?