My Election Night beat is Fox News Channel and CNN. I'm admittedly a little cranky about missing my Gilmore Girls

, so I'm liable to say just about anything. Pundits on both sides of the aisle, beware!

7:30 pm/ET - CNN: CNN calls its first state — West Virginia for George W. Bush. No surprise here. "We're not there yet," Judy Woodruff (Inside Politics) insists with regard to CNN's projections for other states. Then we get to hear Wolf Blitzer tell us lots about how fabulous, precise and careful CNN is being about all this. It's gonna be a long night, folks. But, of course, I knew that, which is why I'll be holed up in my apartment with salad, chicken curry — and good, old-fashioned Moxie soda pop to keep me peppy!

8:53 pm - FOX News: Democratic "Miss Know It All" Susan Estrich is on Fox News Channel, suggesting that exit poll results mean Dubya will have a "very, very, very hard time" pulling off a victory tonight. Hmm... It's easy to be enticed by such pronouncements, no matter which way you're voting, but the truth is none of these pundits really know anything yet. What I do know — and you didn't hear this from me because I'm not one to gossip — is that Estrich got her eyes done about six months ago. That's why she looks so much younger!8:56 pm CNN Crossfire guy Tucker Carlson is miffed by the question of whether Florida will be able to count all their votes tonight, calling it a "third world" state if they don't. That bow-tied cutie sure knows how to rant. In fact, this leads me to make an early election call of my own: Tucker Carlson is the second cutest bow-tie wearer on TV, right after Raj from The Apprentice.9:13 pm - CNN: Wolf Blitzer and The Washington Post's Bob Woodward just admitted that polls are still open in much of the country. So all this yammering is still a buncha hot air.9:28 pm Fox News anchor Brit Hume is "not delighted" about the possibility that a presidential winner won't be declared tonight. Poor Brit. I feel his pain. Still, it seems early in the evening for him to look so tired and dour. Somebody hand this man a Moxie!9:39 pm - CNN: Bush booster Rudy Giuliani was just on CNN and now he's over on Fox News. As their interview ends, Rudy tells Brit to "get some coffee." What did I tell ya? He needs caffeine.9:43 pm - FOX News: Several states have passed ballot measures amending their constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. Fox News senior judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano plainly says that Republicans stirred up the gay marriage issue this year just to incite people. Cynical? Sure. True? Probably. But for a network that's reputedly right-leaning, this seems like a pretty "fair and balanced" moment to me.10:00 pm CNN calls Utah in Bush's favor. Another state where I'm sure gay marriage isn't a popular idea. How many women you're allowed to be simultaneously married to is up for friendly debate, however.10:15 pm Back to Fox News. Illinois U.S. Senator elect Barack Obama's praises are being sung by Mrs. Michelle Obama. (He's only the third African-American to be elected to the Senate since Reconstruction.) Introducing him onstage for his acceptance speech, Mrs. Obama calls the Democrat "my man, my honey, my baby daddy." What a sassy, classy diva. Now she would make a helluva first lady someday. Just a thought.10:21 pm I got lonely gnashing my teeth and wringing my hands all by myself. So I went over to my friend Bill's place to watch TV with him and my best friend Troy. The healthy dinner I planned goes by the wayside in favor of fatty Chinese takeout. Desperate times call for desperate culinary measures. And Sol Cerveza! Troy is quite the nervous nelly this evening and needs something to calm him down.10:51 pm CNN calls the swing state of Pennsylvania for Senator John Kerry with 57 percent of the vote.10:56 pm Subsequently, Fox News follows suit.11:09 pm Somewhere Michael J. Fox, Nancy Reagan and their assorted celebrity pals are cheering. California voters approved funding for stem-cell research.11:10 pm Hmm... CNN and Fox News both project that Bush has 197 electoral votes. However, CNN says Kerry has 188, while Fox still has him at 147. But who's counting?11:29 pm - CNN: "To give our viewers a tennis analogy, neither [candidate] has broken serve yet," says Wolf Blitzer, who's back-patting himself for his own self-perceived cleverness. Dorky much?11:33 pm - CNN: Clinton's former chief of staff, Erskine Bowles, is giving his concession speech in North Carolina. Shockingly, instead of letting us hear it, Blitzer, Larry King and Co. would rather just hear themselves talk about him! Bleh. You'd think they'd be tired from running their mouths for the past four hours and give it a rest.11:56 pm More surprises on CNN. Democrat James Carville commits treason by suggesting Bush "has the superior hand" in the race, then adds Kerry will need an "inside straight" to win. Enough with the corny analogies, people!11:59 pm Karen Hughes, who has a whole host of cheering Caucasians behind her, insists to Fox News that Bush will win. Meanwhile, Mike McCurry seemed just as confident of Kerry's impending victory on CNN.12:03 am - CNN: Poor Brit Hume is temporarily tortured with technical difficulties while Fox News runs down all the "too close to call" states. I'm so confused I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt!12:10 am - FOX News: Hume "unofficially" tells us Bush will carry the swing state of Florida. Meanwhile, correspondent Jim Angle has the worst combover this side of Donald Trump. Seriously, I'm embarrassed for him! To be fair, it should be pointed out that CNN correspondent John King has the biggest nose this side of Bill Clinton.12:16 am Judy Woodruff of CNN is now calling Florida for Bush, too. "You can't say we weren't cautious," she says almost apologetically, pointing out that 98 percent of the precincts are in.12:41 am Fox News is cheerfully calling the swing state of Ohio for Bush. An unusually perky Brit Hume crows that Kerry would have to win Alaska to stop the president now. Well, now you're just bein' cocky, Brit.12:43 am Over on CNN, they're yakking about Ohio, too — but they haven't called it for Bush.12:51 am The Fox News ticker tape now says Ohio is "too close to call." Now Brit — who had practically called the election for Bush a moment ago — suddenly seems a lot less confident about Ohio. It is rather too soon to call it, they now reluctantly admit, since the Cleveland metropolitan area hasn't even been counted yet.1:16 am CNN grants Bush 249 electoral votes to Kerry's 200, while Fox News allows Bush 269 to Kerry's 211. The CNN pundits are now talking about Bush as if he'll see a second term. However, Judy Woodruff does note CNN is "not prepared to call Ohio for Bush," despite competitor networks' pronouncements. The margin is way too thin, they say, and we may have to wait until after all the votes (including provisional ballots) are counted.1:18 am - CNN: All night, Jeff Greenfield has kept slanting things in Bush's favor, and Wolf Blitzer keeps conservatively reigning him in, telling him not to count his chickens. And don't talk to me about Ralph Nader voters right now, Wolf. I'm really not trying to hear that.1:26 am CNN projects that Republicans will retain control of the House and Senate. Screw my diet. We're having some chocolate ice cream. Don't look at me like that. It's Dreyer's low fat. You don't know me! You don't judge me!1:41 am - CNN: Wolf interrogates Ohio's Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, asking for his reassurance that he won't be another Katherine Harris. Blackwell chuckles, assuring CNN the Buckeye State will give us a fair shake. Aaron Brown (whose "Morning Papers" segment I always love) predicts presidential lawsuits, like most of the other pundits are.1:53 am CNN says it's officially projecting that Ohio is "too close to call." How can you project nothing? So frustrating!2:00 am CNN's Judy Woodruff says Iowa has given up on issuing a result tonight, due to broken machines and "fatigue" on the part of election officials. My pal Bill and I feel their pain. "I'm a tired ol' thing," says Bill. Me, too.2:20 am We're a bit punchy now. Bill has taken to calling CNN's Candy Crowley "Jabba the Pundit." Now that's not nice.2:30 am Still no appearances from the presidential candidates claiming victory or conceding defeat. However, would-be Veep John Edwards makes a very brief TV statement to say "we can wait one more day for this victory" and that they'll fight for every vote to be counted. Coming from a trial lawyer, them sounds indeed like fightin' words to me! The Fox News guys, of course, downplayed Edwards' enthusiasm. The CNN guys — who love, love, love their charts — have taken to working out various scenarios on a "what if" worksheet. All the speculation is maddening.2:44 am I switch to L.A.'s local news to hear California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger tell us: "When the people flex their muscles, the state grows much stronger." He then prematurely congratulates Bush on his victory. Thanks Ahnuld, for completing the surreality of this evening. It just wouldn't have been the same without ya.2:59 am Brit Hume says "the president is poised for a clear electoral college victory" or else "victory in the House of Representatives, if that's what it comes to." And the electoral vote count at this point per Fox is 269 to 242 in Bush's favor. Looks like that's about as close as Fox News will come to calling the election tonight. Over at the ultracautious CNN, Wolf Blitzer reminds us for the millionth time that they're broadcasting from Times Square — What is this, New Year's Eve? — and "we still don't know who the president is yet." Their more conservative electoral count is 254 to 242 in Bush's favor.

4:30 am Zzzz... What? Lemme just wipe this pillow drool off my chin. OK, still no final verdict on the commander-in-chief in sight, but the good news is it's now my birthday! Like Iowa and New Mexico's election officials, I'm fatigued and ready to call it a night. And like the rest of America, I'm going to bed uncertain, but still hopeful about our future. That's about as profound as it gets at this hour, kids. Zzzz...


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things ABC cannot change about election night, the courage to endure PBS's low-watt coverage and the wisdom to know the difference between Sundance and sunrise. Because I'll probably be seeing both of them before this damn thing is over.

8:01 pm/ET First stop: ABC's "Vote 2004."8:01.03 pm - ABC: Well, doesn't Peter Jennings look... Canadian? Hmmm. Love the big map. Red for Republican, Blue for Democrats. I get it. Electoral vote so far: Bush 66, Kerry 74.8:13 pm - ABC: George Stephanopoulos in the hizzy! All pundits should have such good hair.8:16 pm - ABC: Jennings just explained the so high-school "popular vote" and apparently, Bush is prom king at 57&#037, while Kerry gets AV club treasurer with 43&#037. 8:20 Ted Koppel pops in from Kerry's Boston HQ to say that the Dems "feel like they can win." Smarmy, but I'll let it slide. He's probably bitter about Stephanopoulos' hair.8:23 pm ABC's Terry Moran spills that Bush usually hits the hay around 9:30. When the hell is last call in D.C.?!8:28 pm - ABC: Virginia goes to Bush. Kerry gets Delaware and New Jersey, taking the electoral vote to 94-77, Dubya.8:34 pm - ABC: South Carolina puts Georgie at 102 to Kerry's 77.8:40 pm ABC's Harry Potter of poli-sci, George Will, pipes in that Florida is "too close to call." So just make it up again.8:51 pm - ABC: Now, I know there's a ton of air to fill tonight, but Jennings just asked ex-Senator Bob Kerrey if the Dems will "hand Kerry his head on a platter" if he loses. Yeah. And they're totally going to uninvite him to their secret treehouse meetings from now on, too.9:03 pm - ABC: Bush 155, Kerry 112. That better be a big platter.9:30 pm - ABC: Bush takes Mississippi and Louisiana for 170 electoral votes to Kerry's 112. Still no Florida. Uh oh.9:50 pm - ABC: Breaking news! Bush has called the press in to announce that he's "going to win and I think we'll know tonight." Too bad ABC's tape is soundless. Pete seems a bit miffed. Tee-hee.10:01 pm - PBS: I'm bored. Where's PBS' "Election '04"?10:01.7 pm - PBS: Zzzzzzzzzzz. No graphics, no theme music. Just Jim Lehrer and a few relics dishing "the old days." Did they even have Presidents back then?10:19 pm - PBS: One walk with Pepito the wonder chihuahua later and we're at 195-112, Bush.10:22 pm PBS' Margaret Warner is in Boston saying that "it's not looking good" for Kerry. Ya think?10:30 pm Good lord. ABC's map looks like a blood clot. Bush up, 196 to 112.10:45 pm - PBS: Hey, some dude from Temple University is telling PBS that Philly had the liveliest voters. Word!11:01 pm - PBS: Rock on, PA! Bush still leads with 200, but my home Keystone state tag-teamed California to get Kerry up to 188. Now this is a race.11:06 pm PBS is still on the 195-112 count. How five minutes ago.11:13 pm ABC calls Arizona, inching Bush to 210. Must be all that dry heat.11:30 pm - Sundance: Time for Sundance's The Al Franken Show. This should be wild. Especially since he's drawing the "dumb states" of Virginia, Illinois and Alabama on his wipe board. Note to Al: Flashbacks to 2000, not cute.11:36 pm - Sundance: We get it, Al. Cut the wipe board and make us laugh. Or run the tape of your chat with Alexandra Kerry. She's cute.11:38 pm PBS and ABC both give Bush Florida. Shocker. 237-188.11:40 pm - Sundance: Franken just asked Kerry's daughter if he "could be with her and her sister tonight." Like the girl's evening isn't looking grim enough.11:51 pm - Sundance: Really, Al. Put down the wipe board.11:58 pm - ABC: Vamanos, Ohio! Peter Jennings' voice is making Pepito twitch.12:16 am - Sundance: Franken's supposed to be funny, right? 'Cause he was just out-quipped by Sam Donaldson and that ain't right.12:17 am ABC reports that Oregon picked Kerry entirely by mail. Seriously? I wouldn't even shop by mail, much less choose my Nation's leader.12:48 am - ABC: Kerry takes Washington 18 minutes after ABC hands Colorado to Bush, who now leads 246 to 207. This is worse than waiting to see if Kelly or Justin was our American Idol!1:01 am - ABC: Alaska sends Bush to 249.1:09 am Come on, ABC. Fox News has already called Ohio. Stick a fork in it and let me get some sleep!1:45 am That's it, I'm calling Ohio. What's their number?2:00 am - ABC: Jennings declares the first switch of the night... or morning... turning New Hampshire over to Kerry, putting him at 221 to Bush's 249.2:21 am - ABC: OK, the popular vote puts Bush at 51%&#037 and Kerry at 49&#037 with 97&#037 of the precincts reporting. Know what that means? Yep. I'm going to bed. Wake me up in four years.

MICHAEL PECK (CBS and Comedy Central)

7:15 pm/ET: Here in L.A., the CBS affiliate's doing local coverage, and while we're seeing some election talk, they haven't forgotten what butters their bread, and that's car chases, baby. Two people led cops on a chose from Hollywood into the Valley. Both were caught; the driver was apprehended after he ran into a car-stereo store. Oh, and it may rain a little tomorrow evening, rain being big news out this way. So with that out of the way, we can concentrate on the election now, folks.

9:00 pm - CBS: Dan Rather fires off the first (that I've caught, anyway, given the car chase and whatnot) of what's sure to be a long string of folksy adages, saying John Kerry wrote Santa Claus to ask for Colorado.

9:10 pm - CBS: "Attention, please," Rather says before telling us there's insufficient data to call the South Dakota Senate race. Good thing, too — I might've missed that.

9:15 pm - CBS: Rather: "We're on these returns like white on rice." I told you he was just getting warmed up.

9:43 pm - CBS "The race is hummin' along like Ray Charles." Yep, he's on a roll.

10:00 pm - Comedy Central: Jon Stewart kicks off his "Election Night 2004: Prelude to a Recount," bringing some sanity to the evening. And none too soon. This is "the closest election that we've seen in four years," Stewart says. "It's pretty much the same thing." God, I hope not. But I've got a bad feeling.

10:15 pm - Comedy Central: The night's biggest laugh goes to Stewart team member Samantha Bee and her exit polling... of people coming out of public toilets and triple-X video booths. OK, so I'm on par with a second-grader.

10:18 pm - CBS: Rather says it may be a long night. Amen, brother.

10:30 pm - CBS: Rather: "Here's one of those cases where your mother was right. Looks can be deceiving."

10:45 pm - Comedy Central: The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert wonders: With all of America's lawyers in battleground states waiting to, well... battle, how will the people who spill McDonald's coffee on themselves, or find that the dry cleaners ruined their coat, file their lawsuits? Good question.

10:50 pm - CBS: CBS calls Pennsylvania for Kerry. "You can hear the sighs from Massachusetts all the way here and beyond," says Rather.

11:05 pm - CBS: Ed Bradley points out that it's after 11 pm on the East Coast and they don't know much more than they did at 7:00.

11:17 pm - CBS: I muffed picking up one of Dan's adages here. I think he said something about how if you try to read the tea leaves when they're still hot, you may get burned. Yes, Grasshopper.

11:19 pm - CBS: Did John Roberts, unaware he was on the air, just say something about needing coffee because he's falling asleep? Buck up, pal. It's not even midnight.

11:20 pm - CBS: The Florida race is "hotter than a Times Square Rolex." I don't really need to attribute that, do I?

11:44 pm - CBS: CBS calls Florida for Bush. Kerry's situation per Mr. Metaphor: "Back to the wall, his shirt tail's on fire and the bill collector's at the door."

12:15 am - CBS: Rather says the Kerry campaign's Joe Lockhart would sooner "walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit" than entertain the idea of his boy losing Ohio.

1:03 am - CBS: "Do you hear that knocking? President Bush's reelection is at the door. Knock, knock, knock."

1:14 am - CBS: Rather says CBS isn't prepared to call Ohio, even though some people in other quarters may. (Yes, NBC — he means you.)

1:33 am - CBS: The Iowa race is "hot enough to peel the paint off houses."

1:36 am - CBS: CBS calls Minnesota for Kerry.

1:40 am - CBS: Eight states are "hanging like ripe fruit."

2:17 am - CBS: CBS calls Michigan for Kerry.

2:48 am - CBS: The local-affiliate folks, having cut in again, say CBS is calling Hawaii for Kerry.

2:53 am - CBS: "For George Bush, it's first and goal with a yard out."

2:54 am - CBS: "Lawyers are swarming over Ohio like locusts."

3:13 pm - CBS: Ed Bradley's the first to say he doesn't think we're going to have a winner tonight.

3:17 am - CBS: In Wisconsin, "votes are closer than Lassie and Timmy." (There's something vaguely creepy about that one, Dan.)

3:17 am - CBS: "We're on this like white on rice." Oh, come now, Dan — a repeat? You are getting tired, big fella.

3:20 am - CBS: John Roberts brings up the real possiblity of a Ohio recount, making Stewart and his people the real soothsayers of the night.

3:35 am - CBS: Bradley says that based on his figuring, Ohio will go to Bush. That's not official, though.

3:44 am - CBS: Bush winning Nevada, however, is.

5:00 am - CBS: Iowa's stopped counting. Wisconsin and New Mexico, according to CBS, still are. And Ohio won't say who won for sure until the provisional ballots are tallied, which could take a week. Most people would rather swallow a barbed-wire-wrapped ball bearing than go through another Florida situation, Rather says. Me, I'm as worn out as a candidate's lips in a maternity ward.

Good night, America. And good luck, too.


It's Tom "I have an important-sounding voice" Brokaw's last presidential campaign. So you think this one is going to be a cakewalk, Tom?... Oh, you don't?... Well, then you're exactly right.

8:04 pm/ET - NBC: After a quick initial round-up of easy-to-call states, which give John Kerry 77 electoral votes and George W. Bush 66, Brokaw and Meet The Press's Tim Russert talk about the coincidence that both candidates were members of the super-secret Skull and Bones club at Yale. M-m-m-m-wa-ha-ha... (That's supposed to be the sound of an evil, maniacal laugh, by the way.)8:09 pm - MSNBC: Chris Matthews asks ex-candidate Howard Dean if he'd be interested in a cabinet position if there were a Kerry administration. For, like, the millionth time, the former governor deftly dodges this question.8:12 pm - NBC: After the audio link to Bush-Cheney representative Ralph Reed goes out, Brokaw does a decent Verizon cell guy impression by asking, "Can you hear me now, Ralph?" Uh, nope.8:20 pm - TNT: Hey, it's also the first night of the NBA season and this contest — between the world champion Detroit Pistons and the Houston Rockets — tips off. 8:24 pm - MSNBC: Correspondent Norah O'Donnell reveals that beef tenderloin and smoked salmon were served in the White House tonight. By the way, an hour earlier, I had tuna salad, vegetables and some plantains. And a chocolate chip brownie.8:30 pm - NBC: South Carolina goes to Bush. Bush - 89 ; Kerry - 77.8:34 pm - NBC: NBC's Chip Reid refers to Ohio as "litigation central." Not surprisingly, the state's tourism board passes on this new nickname. Actually, here's my idea for a new state motto: "Ohio: the place that makes you realize that the greater the percentage of vowels in your state's name, the more mature you are. But screw Iowa."8:41 pm - MSNBC: Commenting on the long lines voters faced today, Matthews wishes that this problem could be solved in the same way CVS drugstores get more cashiers as needed. However, in my area, CVS is also known for the completely silent transaction with a sullen teenage cashier. Can't stand that. 8:42 pm - MSNBC: Bush takes Virginia. Bush - 102; Kerry - 77.8:48 pm - NBC: Brokaw concludes his interview with Kerry's daughter Vanessa by asking her, "Any chance that at the end of all this you'll get together with the Bush daughters and share a margarita?"8:50 pm - MSNBC: Lisa Myers delivers a report about the Bush campaign's belief that the exit polls are inaccurate — it's the same one she just gave on sister network NBC about 15 minutes ago.9:10 pm - NBC: Wide shot of the red and blue map of the United States painted on the Rockefeller Center ice rink outside NBC headquarters in New York. This is kind of cool, but imagine how the pitch session must have gone for this one.9:17 pm - NBC: A particularly haggard-looking Joe Lockhart, senior campaign manager for Kerry, tries his best not to look deliriously exhausted.9:20 pm - MSNBC: When did actor Ron Silver become a political pundit? I guess it must have been some time after Rhoda was cancelled.9:22 pm - NBC: Brokaw on Bush's frequent visits to Ohio: "George Bush did everything but put wheels onto the White House and move it to Canton, Ohio in the course of the last year and a half."9:26 pm - MSNBC: Louisiana and Mississippi are called for Bush. Take that — and the previously announced results for Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, New York and Rhode Island — and now you've got Bush at 171 and Kerry at 112. NBC announces these same victories three minutes later.9:32 pm - NBC: In Cleveland, reporter and apparent psychic Ron Allen says that "it's going to be a very late night here."9:33 pm - NBC: Russert takes out a new crazy white board, and this time, as Brokaw notes, it's a hi-tech electronic notepad one. I miss the chalk from 2000.9:45 pm - NBC: As they go to a commercial, there's a graphic card that reads "Commercial Position Cued." About three seconds later, somewhere in the NBC control room, someone presumably just got severely reamed.9:50 pm - NBC: New footage of the president talking to his dog, Barney. He says he feels "very upbeat... It's going to be an exciting evening." Bush, Sr. and Barbara are there, of course. But they say nothing to the dog.10 pm - MSNBC: Matthews announces that Utah goes to the president despite a graphic that says "O &#037 in." OK.10:07 pm - NBC: Arkansas falls into Dubya's column. Bush - 182; Kerry 112.10:14 pm - NBC: Brokaw: "In this presidential campaign, that old saw about being born in a log cabin, where you can start from anywhere in America and get to the presidency... these two guys started at the very top. The log cabins in their case were guest homes on the family compounds." Good one! 10:30 pm - MSNBC: As evidence that Matthews was getting a little loopy he interrupted one commentator to go to another by saying, "Let me go right now to what's happening right now."10:34 pm - NBC: The network's picture of Ralph Nader slumping over a podium couldn't look less presidential. Well, that's not true. If he was wearing one of those wife-beater t-shirts, he'd probably look worse.10:37 pm - NBC: David Gregory notes that at this time of night the president is usually asleep, but tonight he "may be enjoying some warm milk with family." Hey, and maybe some cookies, too. I recommend chocolate chip or Orange Milanos. Man, I just realized how hungry I am all of a sudden.10:48 pm - NBC: Unlike the presidential contest at this hour, it's clear that the Pistons have defeated the Rockets, 85-79.10:49 pm - NBC: Bush wins Arizona. But in bigger news, Kerry picks up Pennsylvania. Bush - 203; Kerry - 133.10:51 pm - NBC: Noting the similar division of red and blue states, Russert says that "it's an exact replay of 2000." He then adds, "All eyes are on Ohio. This is it for John Kerry."10:59 pm - NBC: I get a little sentimental knowing that the accidental shot we see of Brokaw fidgeting with his earpiece will likely be the last one we see of this particular activity before his retirement. Sniff, sniff.11 pm - NBC: Kerry collects California and Washington's electoral votes, while Bush gets Idaho. Bush - 207; Kerry - 199.11:13 pm - MSNBC: Matthews introduces his colleague Chip Reid "in Cleveland, Ohio." Reid kindly corrects him that he's actually at the "Making Your Vote Count" station nearby.11:34 pm - NBC: Brokaw momentarily loses his voice as he begins to interview Bush advisor Karen Hughes. Russert gives him a hard slam on the back and suddenly he's fine. (Kidding.) 11:49 pm - NBC: It's mentioned that some voters wait in line for up to ten hours. Wow. That is dedication to our democracy.12:03 am - NBC: Oregon goes to Kerry. Bush - 207; Kerry - 206. (Oh my god, I am so sick of the same slo-mo images and patriotic music that NBC is using each time they show vote counts. Please, in 2008, get some alternates. Please. I'm begging you.12:11 am - NBC: Campbell Brown with P. Diddy, who's wearing one of his "Vote or die" t-shirts.12:24 am - NBC: Florida is finally awarded to Bush. Brother Jeb Bush exhales for the first time tonight. With Colorado also going to Bush, it's now 246 for the president and 206 for Senator Kerry.12:59 am - NBC: Ohio goes to Bush. "This race is all but over," announces Tim Russert. Bush - 266; Kerry - 207. And yet...1:30 am - NBC: Kelly O'Donnell reports that the Kerry campaign is not conceding Ohio. (I, however, concede that I'm exhausted and my stomach hurts.)2:32 am - NBC: With an exceptional amount of fist pumping, Senator John Edwards declares that "It's been a long night, but we've waited four years for this victory, we can wait one more night."

Before I call it a night, I flip around and see that several networks have varied totals of electoral votes for each candidate. Not a lot of consistency. And here we go...