She's no Willow Rosenberg, but she'll do: Mariel Hemingway is suiting up to play a Sapphic Secret Service agent in gay-cabler Here!'s upcoming telepic, Her Line of Fire, says Variety. Hemingway previously proved what a good lesbian she'd make in Personal Best ,and proved what a good thespian she is by acting like she was attracted to Roseanne on Roseanne.... Also per Variety: Clive Owen will join Cate Blanchett and Geoffrey Rush in a sequel to Elizabeth called The Golden Age. In the film (which had been titled Elizabeth 2: Electric Boogaloo), the Closer heartthrob will play Sir Walter Raleigh, which is almost enough to make me wish I'd stayed awake during more history classes. Or even the first Elizabeth.... Sam Shepard is strapping on a holster to play Brad Pitt's brother in The Assassination of Jesse James. Today's column was written by Ben Katner and Matt Webb Mitovich