Sarah Michelle Gellar is staking claim to the title role in Universal's forthcoming big-screen adaptation of the video game American McGee's Alice. Per Variety, the film picks up with Alice after her home has been destroyed and her family killed. In related news, unreliable sources say Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman are in talks to headline a movie version of Atari's Pong. (Another example of a mean-funny joke.)