Bad Girl's Guide
I thought last week's show was pretty much as terrible as it could get, but this unfunny episode proved me very wrong: JJ's off-putting hallucinations and friends have become even more cartoonish and over-the-top, and her boss' voice is so shrill I can barely tolerate it. I'm a huge fan of made-up words, but "nerdlinger"? That's pushing it, and just plain weird. While I'm willing to lower my standards for summer programming, I don't think I'm ready to lower them quite this far. It's only Episode 2 and they're already resorting to scatological jokes about prunes and toilets and, well... you get the picture. I did see one promising episode (which hasn't aired yet) that's keeping me watching, but so far I've been really disappointed. Where is that funny, sexy girl I knew from Singled Out? I used to think she was a cute little goofball, but I guess some things do change. — Angel Cohn

The Shield
"Now I need you to tell me the truth," Shane is told. Stop right there... Apparently, someone's forgotten what series he's on. Minutes later, however, Shane scores the best line of the hour when he grabs Weed's cell phone and asks him, "Can you hear me now?" Obvious, sure, but it made me grin. As the parade of ugliness continues, Dutch tells Corinne that he and Vic "may have bumped heads over a case or two," but nothing more. Does anyone not lie on this show? Oh, yeah... no.

And oh, how Army picks an interesting time to plead the Fifth and take a stand. He's screwing every cop in the building, Monica tells him. Nah, just a few, really. But they're precisely the ones you shouldn't — Vic, first and foremost. As Shane's due to find out before the season ends, I think.

As for Dutch's "relationship" with Corrine: She asks him if he got close to her just to get back at Vic, and he first says no, then admits maybe a little. Lies, of course. But, hey — she's gotta be used to those after all the years with her husband. — Michael Peck

Channel Surfing
These guys on the Deadliest Catch are insane! INSANE! They are trying to pull in a big haul of crabs to earn themselves a monster payout, but many of them die or lose fingers along the way. Haven't these dudes out in the pitch-black with huge crashing waves and heavy machinery seen The Perfect Storm? That movie and book made me afraid to go on paddleboats, never mind into the middle of the Bering Sea. But I love Captain Sig and his restrained reaction when his crew starts bringing in the biggest haul. In this mission, the crew is only as good as their captain, and those dudes looked ready to hail Sig when their storage tanks started to get overstuffed.... Strip Search may be in the running for the most-scantily-clad reality show that's not on pay-per-view. This Full Monty-meets-Top Model series finds America's most uninhibited young men for a Las Vegas male review and proves that guys are much less self-conscious than most women. Even really unattractive and overweight men had no problem stripping down to their skivvies and shaking their groove thangs for the cameras. Had to love that eager twin Ray, whose life dream is to become a stripper and who had a pair of fly-away pants at the ready for his impromptu audition. His mama must have taught him always to come prepared... Raucous Robbie Knievel could seriously teach those bad-girl wannabes over on UPN a thing or two: First, the Knievel's Wild Ride star has perfected the cool and bizarre-sounding concoction of Slim-Fast and vodka. The heck with Red Bull. Second, he seems to be partying hard all the time, shows up late for everything, has a badass attitude and gains coolness points by hanging out with Dan Haggarty, aka TV's Grizzly Adams. It was a little annoying, though, that the Dawn commercial they spent the episode filming kept playing during the show. Takes the element of surprise out of it when you see the outcome so early on. I did love Robbie's honest assessment that they were filming the end of the commercial first because they thought he'd die while doing the stunt. Forget crab-fishing — this crazy gig has got to be one of the world's deadliest, or stupidest, jobs.

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