Christopher Titus makes a living satirizing his life on his self-titled Fox sitcom, Titus. So, it would seem natural that he would incorporate into the hit comedy the latest development in his off-screen existence: Impending fatherhood.

However, the comic-turned-actor — whose first child (a daughter) with wife Erin is due in August — tells TV Guide Online that when it comes to the small screen, infants are no laughing matter. "If babies weren't such series killers, we would do it," confesses Titus. "That's a new story. A baby is a whole new chapter in your life, and we have so many stories to tell in this one... maybe at the end of the series run we might bring in a baby."

Ironically, Cynthia Watros — who plays Titus's reel ladylove on Titus — is also preggers. (The Emmy winner will deliver twins in August.) Still, even that miraculous coincidence wasn't enough to change the funnyman's mind. That's not to say, however, that pregnancy hasn't given his stand-up routine a major shot in the arm.

"My wife would like everyone to know she's not fat," he cracks, offering a snippet of his new material. "She said, 'I'm not pregnant enough to look pregnant, I'm just pregnant enough to look like I drank a lot of beer.' So I want everyone to know she is [pregnant]; back off her."

Seriously, Titus — whose own father, Ken Titus, died of a heart attack in January — admits that he's "scared to death" about becoming a daddy. And although he skewers his late pop's child-rearing technique (read: tough love) each week on Titus (actor Stacy Keach does the honors), he confesses that, "I hope I get to use all the good stuff he did, too — just without the tinge of beer, because I don't drink."