I apologize in advance if I leave out some key detail of this episode, as I was distracted by the surprise appearance of Hoppy the Shrieking Locust, who infiltrated our kitchen after my dad left the screen door open. Keeping one eye on the TV as we went a-hunting for Hoppy, it dawned on me that our mission paralleled that of the Atlantis team. Sheppard and Co. were searching for the errant, Wraith-enzyme-wacky Ford, whose erratic behavior wasnt light-years removed from Hoppys. Caldwell calls on Sheppard to terminate his young friend ("You didnt have any problem with mercy when you killed Sumner!" Ye-ouch) just as my dad called on me to terminate Hoppy. Fortunately, we werent waylaid the way Sheppard and Teyla were by Jason Momoas badass Ronon Dex, a supercool hybrid of Bob Marley and Rambo. His kinetic martial-arts showdown with Ford in the forest was the highlight of the show, even if their moves got repetitive (how many times did Rainbow Sun Francks practice ducking?). So guess who ends up dealing with Atlantis deranged prodigal? "Ford! Are you there? Its your best friend Rodney!" McKay, that is, who hears first-hand from the febrile Ford that his infection is "the best thing that ever happened to me," even though "you dont know what its like to be abandoned by your friends!" Apparently one of the side effects of the Wraith enzyme is manic depression. Ford escaped to freak another day, unlike Hoppy, who was finally cornered atop a cabinet and saturated with antiwasp spray (we didn't have any humane locust traps). Now I know how the Bolivian army felt when they nailed Butch and Sundance. RIP, Hoppy.
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