American Inventor
Listen. Can you hear it? The sound of hearts breaking all across the land? Tonight's show was evil. Teary, gratuitous, offensive, dramatic... and that was just the female judge. I'll try not to say too much about her... not even her name. The whole show was comparable to an Extreme Makeover reveal, which to me are a bit overproduced and excessively sad.

Extreme sad. Thing is, I have to keep watching until my theory is proven or refuted. The reason I watch this show is to see cool inventions. The reason I watch American Idol is to see the bad singing in the early rounds. But with American Inventor, they're starting with the part I don't care about, and I pray for the last 10 episodes to be about inventing. Extreme, live inventing.

Peter Jones is proving to be humorous. Well, and then just plain laughable, changing his mind and all. Still, he was the first to say "fart." Alas, Doug Hall moved to my hometown, reminds me of that guy from The Princess Bride, and still somehow seems most qualified. Ed Evangelista should move his seat. Down on the end of the table next to the female judge, I swear it takes away some of his credibility.

This week less than a handful of inventors were sent to the next round. The football-catching device was really very smart. The public-bathroom-stall lock, also very usable. Everything else, not so much. Bullet Ball? Give me a piece of plywood, two Ping-Pong paddles, a rubber ball and two darts, and I'll show you Bullet Ball. But that man with so much will but with no way  so sad. I can't even talk about it. Darren Sirkin

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