Meanwhile in Orlando, Simon appeared more willing give overweight men a break than plus-size women. My Fair Lady crooner Sarah Sue Kelly got rejected with this [slightly abridged] lecture: "It's the way you look that's putting us off. You don't have to be a Barbie [doll], but I just want to give you a reality check. People will judge you based on the way you look." My guess is life clued in Sarah Sue on that one long ago. The poor dear will have to be content running her karaoke bar, just like fellow Idol reject Nikki McKibbin. On the bright side, LL Cool J hugged her — and many of the other cast-off contestants. It did my heart good to see some of 'em consoled instead of just cut down for a change. James Brown aficionado Dezmond Meeks even earned a tearful defense from Paula — and he deserved it after doing that split!
PS — If the hem of Marissa Ganz's ill-fitting black minidress were any higher, we'd be able to see what's on her mind! Like the judges, her "White Boys" screeching left me dumbfounded. And hon, your postelimination plan to "pig out at the buffet" is unlikely to make that frock any more flattering.
PPS — I'm with the judges on "miracle boy" Anthony Federov, who sings so beautifully despite his childhood tracheotomy. He does have Clay Aiken's talent and slightly nerdy appeal. Though he's way cuter than Clay, hands-down. And please, Claymates, hold the hate mail. You know I speak the truth.
Gilmore Girls This week's episode started off so dully — Lorelai's pillow talk with Luke about TV's affect on REM sleep nearly rendered me unconscious. Fortunately, things really picked up. Sookie looked like a pregnant adulteress for a second there! Then it turned out she only lied to her hubby about working late to snag some alone time. Who can blame a girl for wanting to watch vintage Dark Shadows reruns? (GG scored major points with me with the Barnabas references.) Meanwhile, Lane Kim talked back to her mother with impunity — something we could never have imagined early in the series' run — and got herself contact lenses. Hey, for Lane, these are big life steps. Her BF Zach cracked me up with his comment on her lensless look: "You lose that initial impact. Now people will have to talk to you for a few minutes before they figure out that you're smart." But the best stuff was Emily and Richard Gilmore's soapy saga. First, Richard jealously rear-ended Emily's car, just to halt her cozy conversation with Simon. The Gilmores then reconciled and made plans to renew their marriage vows. But just as I was thinking how sweet she really is, Emily dropped in on Christopher unexpectedly — soap-opera grand dames always do that! — to encourage Lorelai's ex to steal her away from Luke. She was imperious, cold, condescending and altogether fabulously devious. If somebody doesn't give Kelly Bishop an Emmy or a Golden Globe someday, I'll... I'll... Well, they'd just better give her some kinda trophy, that's all.
The Amazing Race Talk about Shanghai surprises! Adam and Rebecca got Yielded by Freddy and Kendra, who consequently landed safely in second place behind Aaron and Hayden. Fortunately for My Favorite Martian and his on-again, off-again GF, this was a non-Philimination leg. I had to laugh when Rebecca suggested that some mysterious "forces" were keeping her and Adam from getting a taxicab. No doubt the strange combo of Adam's antennae hairdo and TAR's camera crew scared most of the cab drivers away. I wonder if Adam will get some revenge on Freddy and Kendra as he threatened. We'll find out in next week's finale!
Son of the Mask trailer Judging from this movie trailer, Jamie Kennedy stars as the father of a baby who puts on Jim Carrey's Mask from the original film. With help from the cheesiest dancing baby-effects since Ally McBeal, the tot uses his superpowers to whup Dad's butt for cheap laughs. Jamie needs his ass kicked for whoring out his considerable comedic talent in such embarrassingly bad fare. And the MPAA needs to rate this movie ND for No Desire.
NYPD BlueMark-Paul Gosselaar's John is a lucky guy to be dating Elizabeth Lackey's ADA Lori Munson. You've gotta admire a gal who can make something as mundane as Chinese takeout sexy, even if she's just using chopsticks to unzip her top. Try that move on your next date! By the way, didja recognize William McNamara — Sigourney Weaver's serial-killing tormenter from 1995's Copycat — as Richard the cokehead? This hottie's getting older, but he's still a looker. As for this episode's homicide cases, the murderous old ladies (the retiree and the embittered secretary) were both very human and relatable. They were painfully single, alone and feeling forgotten and unloved. My only criticism is that the suffocating secretary seemed too sharp and calculating to just confess her crime to Andy and John so easily, didn't she? I didn't buy that.