A puerile comedy, VICE ACADEMY 3 plays like an extended burlesque routine with most of the nudity eliminated and only the stale dirty jokes remaining.
Eager-to-please neophyte cop Candy (Elizabeth Kaitan) tries to impress her bosses, the Commissioner (Jay Richardson) and Miss Devonshire (Johanna Grika), while her sister Holly (Ginger Lynn Allen) goes undercover at the Big House and gets caught up in a prison riot. The convict commotion is
actually a smokescreen so that Melanie (Julia Parton) and her babes can escape. When Miss Devonshire stumbles into a convenience store that's about to be robbed, Candy shows up with good intentions and shoots up the place but fails to nab any offenders. At the Prisoners versus Police Field Day
Competition, Miss Devonshire rendezvous with Holly, but the boys in blue are horrified when Melanie, rechristened Malathion after being exposed to toxic chemicals, re-breaks into jail and waltzes off with more babes from behind bars. Although Malathion's crime ring expands, she's furious when
another former convict snitches on some of the ex-residents of the Big House.
As Malathion grows more and more demented, Holly and Candy temporarily forget their primary objectives and fight over a plum assignment as assistant to Professor Kaufinger (Steve Mateo), a hunk of a criminologist-scientist. As the convict crime ring terrorizes the city with purse snatching and
Malathion tries to bribe a former cellmate who's trying to go straight on a work-release program, the Commissioner and Miss Devonshire engineer a scheme to lure Malathion into captivity. Laying a trap, they propose an Earth Day celebration in which all the city police force members will donate
paychecks. Malathion and her cronies infiltrate this worthy event without noticing that Candy and Holly are hiding in garbage cans. Armed with a secret weapon created by Professor Kaufinger, Miss Devonshire neutralizes Malathion. Thwarting the other members of the crime ring, the Commissioner and
his able-bodied corps make sure that the convicts are back behind prison walls by the fade-out.
As long as young actresses can be squeezed into form-fitting costumes and as long as cobweb-covered double-entendres can be recycled, there will be films like VICE ACADEMY 3. Although the mainly amateurish cast doesn't wring many laughs, this film manages to steamroller over some moth-eaten
material and sail along due to its high energy. Filled with bimbos of all shapes and sizes, this penitentiary farce delivers a double thrust of curvaceous cuties and cheap laughs. Resorting to the expected catfights and sexist jokes, VICE ACADEMY 3 will not endear itself to any feminists.
Instead of concentrating on spoofing prison movies themselves or building memorable comedy characters, the film races all over the place and keeps tossing in more contemporary foibles to satirize. Although movies like AIRPLANE and HOT SHOTS are superior because of funnier gags and one-liners,
they also surpass trash like VICE ACADEMY 3 because they spin off from the satirical matter at hand. Tackling yuppies, environmentalists, rabid recyclers and everything else under the sun, this inane comedy forgets that its primary targets should be the "Keystone Kops" police force and the wicked
women jailbirds who are their foils.
In its defense, the movie isn't aggressively dreadful because the actors come across like little kids playing cops-and-robbers. If only they were given more to fool around with than this useless compendium of bad jokes. Like the high school play you feel obligated to enjoy, you end up resenting
VICE ACADEMY 3 for not even trying to be better than it is. Unless the thought of ham actors in prison drag thrills you, this flick is best shunned. (Violence, profanity, nudity.)
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- Released: 1991
- Rating: R
- Review: A puerile comedy, VICE ACADEMY 3 plays like an extended burlesque routine with most of the nudity eliminated and only the stale dirty jokes remaining. Eager-to-please neophyte cop Candy (Elizabeth Kaitan) tries to impress her bosses, the Commissioner (Ja… (more)