Even those in thrall to cheap thrills have their standards. TWISTED LOVE could be their litmus test. Naggingly familiar and played in a style reminiscent of soap opera for the living dead, this twisted tale of unrequited amour only proves that some homicidal maniacs are as dull as their victims. Mousy coed Janna Riley (Lisa Dean Ryan) buries her head in...read more
Even those in thrall to cheap thrills have their standards. TWISTED LOVE could be their litmus test. Naggingly familiar and played in a style reminiscent of soap opera for the living dead, this twisted tale of unrequited amour only proves that some homicidal maniacs are as dull as their
Mousy coed Janna Riley (Lisa Dean Ryan) buries her head in her books, while campus hunk Bo (Sasha Jenson) tries to score with his good-girl main squeeze, Sharon (Soleil Moon Frye). Since the football hero doesn't know she's alive, Janna transforms her house-sitting gig into the perfect setting for
captive romance. After Bo is injured in a smash-up, Janna pulls her boy-toy from the wreckage, ties him to a bed, nurses him, and still gets home in time to fool her parents. By day, Janna plants doubts about the absent Bo's sincerity in Sharon's mind; by night, the nutty nurse tends her bound
When Bo attracts the attention of the mansion's gardener (Clint Howard), Janna escalates the romance stakes by stabbing the landscaper to death and forcing Bo to crawl back to his bed chamber. Foiling all of Bo's repeated escape attempts, Janna assumes the job of tutoring the jock after informing
her convalescent he-man that his legs are permanently ruined for athletics.
Threatening to slay Sharon if he persists in his break-outs, unhinged Janna simultaneously deals with the incestuous advances of her father (Arthur Taxier). Realizing she'll never shine in conventional arrangements, Janna hammers silence out of Bo's snooping buddy D.J. (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) when
he butts in and wounds Sharon with a gun after she attempts to remove Bo from his love-prison. While Janna psychotically babbles about suicide, Bo disarms her.
The best that can be said for this markdown of MISERY (1990) is that it conveys a bleak recovery prognosis for its surviving hero. Aside from that smidgen of realism, this is a pitiful chiller that seems to stretch an anecdote to the length of DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965). Instead of sympathizing with
the ugly duckling's angst (she's an incest victim) or being terrified by her murderous intensity, the viewer is merely irritated by Ryan's inadequacy. Across the board, the players are stultifyingly muted, as if the cast of "Melrose Place" had been transported to a USA Channel salute to Grand
Guignol. (Graphic violence, extreme profanity, sexual situations.)
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