This tasteless teen spree is a smug adolescent's version of AFTER HOURS (1985), as a dewy-eyed lad encounters endless trouble while desperately searching for a condom. His misadventures are frenetic rather than funny in a film that spins its wheels in a slapstick hole.
Brainy but virginal high schooler Brad (Will Friedle) overlooks the interests of his longtime friend Lea (Jennifer Love Hewitt), smitten instead with cheerleader Brooke (Marley Shelton). Brad leaps at the chance to tutor Brooke, even though her jock boyfriend, Kyle (Eric Balfour), expects her to
accompany him to a rave party. Brooke makes a play for Brad in her bedroom, but first he has to come up with "protection."
Desperately searching, Brad is first accosted by a homeless man (Daniel Patrick Kelly) and then sees a gang steal his parents' prized Jaguar. Brad's attempt to board a bus without paying his fare ticks off the driver (Anthony Michael Hall), who dumps Brad off in a Chicano neighborhood; there, he's
forced to partner a large woman (Christine Deaver) in competing for prize money at a salsa club. Re-encountering the car thieves, Brad becomes a captive audience as they vandalize the high school. After fending off a kung fu-ing janitor, battered Brad returns to Brooke's now-empty house; she's
gone to the party. On his way to the party, Brad is captured again by the gang, who hold him hostage until they have eluded the cops. While being questioned by the police, Brad is given the object of his obsession--a condom--by understanding Officer Austin (Lee Majors). After Lea picks Brad up
from the police station, she also decides to attend the party. However, Brad discovers that Brooke only desired a one-night stand while Lea truly cares for him.
THE TROJAN WAR commits sexual harassment upon its audience. Pandering to a tumescent teen crowd, this is just another leering exercise that espouses a romantic ideal while salivating over easy-access sex. To its credit, it's less vulgar than such similarly plotted farces as 1983's LOSIN' IT, but
that relative restraint only makes it bearable, not worthwhile. As a picaresque comedy, it unfolds in hebephrenic fashion, as if aware that its gags are lame and hoping to rush them past the viewer. The youthful cast is attractive, and a few comic bits work (such as the vengefully speeding bus
driver and the salsa mama who gets dance fever because Brad resembles David Hasselhoff). Best viewed by high schoolers researching premarital sex, the film may also be enjoyed by aging males with teen-Lolita complexes. (Violence, profanity, sexual situations.)
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- Released: 1997
- Rating: PG-13
- Review: This tasteless teen spree is a smug adolescent's version of AFTER HOURS (1985), as a dewy-eyed lad encounters endless trouble while desperately searching for a condom. His misadventures are frenetic rather than funny in a film that spins its wheels in a sl… (more)