Transylmania, the not-so-long-anticipated theatrical sequel to its direct-to-video predecessors (Dorm Daze 1 and 2) tries very hard to be the sort of goofy teen gross-out comedy -- this time, with vampires -- that you can write home about. Sadly, however, no one is going to write home about this movie. There may be someone out there who’d pat it on more

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