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The Whole Nine Yards Reviews

Goofy and surprisingly slow-moving, this uneven dark comedy about a high-strung dentist whose new next-door neighbor turns out to be a notorious hit man is primarily a showcase for stars Matthew Perry and Bruce Willis. Poor Dr. "Oz" Oseransky (Perry) — His wife Sophie (Roseanna Arquette) is a conniving shrew and her mother is worse. He's had to flee his native Chicago for Montreal in the wake of his late partner's compulsive gambling, embezzlement from their shared practice and subsequent suicide, which also left Oz deeply in debt. Canadian waiters keep putting mayonnaise on his hamburger. And now Jimmy "the Tulip" Tudeski (Willis) has moved in next door, fresh from a stint in prison. But to their mutual surprise, Jimmy and Oz become pals. Then Sophie messes up everything again, browbeating Oz into trying to sell out Jimmy to the vicious Gogolak crime family; Jimmy's testimony sent Gogolak senior to prison for life, and his son Janni (Kevin Pollack) is out for blood. Complicating matters further are Jimmy's estranged wife, an icy bombshell named Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), and supersized Gogolak enforcer Jimmy Figs (Michael Clarke Duncan). Perry does endearing pratfalls and double takes, while Willis can exude a certain low-key charm that's put to excellent use here. Duncan is a standout as the gentle giant of a hit man, and Amanda Peet is enjoyably goofy as Oz's receptionist, who turns out to nurture some surprising ambitions. But they're all working with cliched, second-rate material, and in keeping with someone's apparent belief that silly accents are an inherent laugh riot, Pollack, Arquette and a couple of Canuck cops talk funny at every opportunity. Many people will find all this very funny; the ones who won't probably know who they are and are advised to steer clear.