Proudly lowbrow and oddly sadistic, THE STONED AGE is a straight-to-video sex 'n' drugs comedy that excavates '70s culture at its most boneheaded.
Joe (Michael Kopelow) and Hubbs (Bradford Tatum) are long-haired losers who spot the girls of their dreams at a house party hosted by rich kid Otis Muldoon (Jake Busey). When their friend Tack (Clifton Gonzalez Gonzalez) claims he has a line on two available women, Joe and Hubbs break the rules
and make a beeline for the phenomenal Lanie (Renee Ammann) and her plain-Jane girlfriend Jill (China Kantner). Despite the boys' incessant boorishness, the women are lured (by the promise of Bacardi 151 to come) into a neighbor's outdoor Jacuzzi, where Joe and Lanie get along famously. This leaves
the sensitive Hubbs and a colossally bored Jill thrown together, until Joe takes a breather to slip back downstairs and seduce Jill, who happily settles for sloppy seconds. To make amends, Joe tells homeboy Hubbs that a 151-fueled Lanie is waiting for him upstairs. But when Hubbs finds Lanie
asleep, he instead flashes back to a mystical experience he once had at a Blue Oyster Cult concert where a laser caught him square in the eye. When Tack and his buddies show up to claim their bounty, massing on the front yard in an unhealthy stew of jealousy and unrequited rage, Jill's father
(David Groh) arrives home, just in time to clear the deck.
With drugs apparently back in style among America's youth, it's no surprise that drug humor should return to the screen. But gone are the days of Cheech and Chong happy-hippie humor: these freaks are wired and mean; their humor is virulent and loaded for bear. One lout wears a "No Fat Chicks"
T-shirt, and much unpleasant fun is had at the expense of a trio of large women who constantly show up wanting to party. The boys' favorite party trick is peeing in the ice trays. When Hubbs can't stifle his nausea, he vomits into the cushions of an expensive stuffed chair. Bored with her
prospects, Jill excuses herself, announcing she's "gotta take a dump." And a final disclaimer advises, "No chicks were harmed in the making of this motion picture."
Without sympathetic characters or laughs, THE STONED AGE has little to offer beyond a classic '70s soundtrack featuring Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Ted Nugent, and Foghat's "Slow Ride" (which was used over the closing crawl in the far more ambitious DAZED AND CONFUSED). Indeed,
with minor shifts of emphasis, this cloddish bit of teen exploitation could serve as an anti-drug message film, with a portentous narrator admonishing "Think twice, kids--this could happen to you." (Sexual situations, substance abuse, profanity.)
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