1993 saw a host of woman-from-hell movie parodies, and while such films as FATAL INSTINCT and SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER had their faults, none was remotely as bad as HEXED. Matthew Welsh (Arye Gross) is a desk clerk who dreams of excitement and tells tall tales to impress his co-workers, including fellow clerk Gloria O'Connor (Adrienne Shelly), who...read more
1993 saw a host of woman-from-hell movie parodies, and while such films as FATAL INSTINCT and SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER had their faults, none was remotely as bad as HEXED.
Matthew Welsh (Arye Gross) is a desk clerk who dreams of excitement and tells tall tales to impress his co-workers, including fellow clerk Gloria O'Connor (Adrienne Shelly), who inexplicably finds him attractive. When it transpires that famous French model Hexina (Claudia Christian) is coming
to the hotel, Matthew pretends to know her and claims he has an assignation with the sexy cover girl. This time he makes good on his word, posing as a man Hexina is supposed to meet and taking her back to his apartment. They have wild sex, then Hexina attempts to murder the startled Matthew. It
turns out that the guy he's impersonating is blackmailing her, and that Hexina is a murderess who's spent considerable time in an asylum.
Soon Matthew is on the run both from Hexina and Detective Ferguson (R. Lee Ermey), who believes Matthew's involved in her murderous exploits. The body count rises as Matthew is pursued through all manner of situations, including a pinata party and wedding, until he finally confronts Hexina on
the hotel's roof. He manages to send her falling to her death and, older and maybe just a little wiser, survives to be united with Gloria.
There's nothing wrong with black humor that pushes the boundaries of good taste, but HEXED is dedicated to the proposition that bad taste, with no modulation or wit behind it, is funny in and of itself. This grotesque travesty is the work of Alan Spencer (himself a veteran of sitcoms, including
the well-reviewed, shortlived "Sledge Hammer!"), who appears to believe that the difference between movie and TV comedy is that you can have people use the f-word on the big screen, and never misses a chance to exploit the opportunity, with no attention paid to whether it's appropriate, in
character, or even funny. He also takes advantage of his newfound freedom to exploit all sorts of offensive stereotypes, with a black man asked, "You play a lot of basketball?," a Latino told he "looks like Tonto," and a priest revealed as a porn addict. Then there's the wacky parody of the Rodney
King beating, and the scene in which the police pursuing Matthew invade a wedding, punch out the bride, and shoot the groom dead. Perhaps a gifted farceur could have mined this material for genuine dark humor, but Spencer's approach is simplistic and witless.
Christian, who's proved a solid actress in B movies like MANIAC COP 2, is given what must be one of the most demeaning women's roles in film history. Hexina is every feminist's worst nightmare of a vicious, sex-crazed bitch who deserves the bashing she ultimately gets, and the scene in which she
mounts Gross, writhing and howling in psychotic ecstasy, is positively painful to watch. Gross's character is obnoxious and unlikable, and poor Shelly, a winning presence in movies like THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH, is stuck in a nothing role as the sweet girl who, for some reason the script never
explores, really loves him. It's almost superfluous to note that HEXED's underlying thriller story is contrived and foolish, since looking for intelligent plotting in a movie like this is like trying to find a pearl in a pigsty. (Violence, nudity, sexual situations, adult situations, extensiveprofanity.)
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