We’ve all seen movies that are so bad you hate every single person in it. Furry Vengeance takes this to a whole new level, because it’s so annoying you hate not only all the people, but all the animals as well.
The movie opens with a motley gang of wild creatures setting off a woodland Rube Goldberg machine in order to orchestrate a car accident that kills an unctuous real estate developer (played with appropriately maximum unctuousness by Rob Riggle). Enter nice guy Dan Sanders (Brendan Fraser), a new developer who is a devoted husband to wife Tammy (Brooke Shields) and a tolerant father to his moody teenage son, Tyler (Matt Prokop). The kid resents moving away from his friends so that Dad can take on a big work assignment -- Dan’s been ordered to oversee the devastation of this forest paradise by his greedy, self-absorbed billionaire boss Neal Lyman (Ken Jeong), who pretends to be pro-enviornment when in reality he only cares about maximizing his profits. The animals, led by a raccoon, fight the destruction of their home by making Dan’s life an all-natural hell -- think lots of excrement, urine, skunk spray, and bee attacks. Will Dan come to his senses and see the error of his ways? Can he apologize for putting his career ahead of his family before it’s too late? Will anyone over the age of five laugh at anything in this movie?
Brendan Fraser is a capable slapstick comic; very few actors are qualified to bring both George of the Jungle and Dudley Do-Right to life. But you would never know he had that talent because director Roger Kumble doesn't have the patience to let a gag build. Plus, screenwriters Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert don’t provide any help; from the start, Dan is too nice a guy to deserve the amount of pain and humiliation he’s forced to endure. So we start to root for him to slay a few of the animals. In order to make us enjoy watching Dan be trapped inside an upturned Porta-John, we really need to hate him, and we don’t -- we just hate the movie for dishing out yet another lame poop joke.
A bore from its opening moments right through the lame credit sequence featuring the actors lip-syncing to Cypress Hill’s “Insane in the Brain,” Furry Vengeance would only be worthwhile if the animals of the world took the film to heart and attacked the filmmakers for creating a movie that makes them look like vindictive jerks.
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