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All Tied Up Reviews

A direct-to-video romantic farce, ALL TIED UP hosts an attractive young cast who look as though they've fallen out of a fashion catalogue, in a script equally glossy and mailed in from someplace just west of reality. Malibu, that is, where Brian (Zach Galligan) wants to marry lovely Linda (Teri Hatcher), who's fed up with his habitual infidelities and inattention. When Brian shows up at Linda's beach house to demand forgiveness, he manages to knock himself cold, and Linda's fiercely-protective housemates Kim (Lara Harris) and Sharon (Tracy Griffith) tie him to a bed. For days all three women subject the hapless hostage to physical and psychological torment before freeing him (in a skirt), confident he'll never bother Linda again. But the ordeal has been a growing experience for Brian; he now knows What Women Want, and he gently distracts Kim and Sharon by pairing them with dream dates. Then he kidnaps Linda, ties her up, and whispers sweet nothings until they're once again a happy, engaged couple. With a taste for bondage. Actually ALL TIED UP is more coy than kinky; the R rating applies to scattered swear words rather than sex or nudity. If the title and participation of Spanish co-producers suggests an inspiration in Pedro Almodovar's TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN, that's as far as it goes; this is strictly sitcom territory. The three leading ladies are agreeably leggy, coifed, and high-cheekboned, while Galligan (GREMLINS), looking a lot like Robert Downey Jr., retains enough likeability to make his captivity more uncomfortable than comic, especially when sadistic Kim shaves him with a rusty razor until trails of blood line his face. He's perfectly healed a few scenes later, which is as true-to-life as anything else in ALL TIED UP. (Adult situations, sex, profanity.)