Great news: ABC plans to re-introduce Kermit, Piggy and the gang to a whole new audience in its 2015-2016 TV season. In the meantime, it's every fan's prerogative to celebrate the stars of the Muppet franchise in order of awesomeness. After all, everyone has a favorite. And it's not always Kermit.
Do not mistake this Spanish king prawn for a shrimp if you want to live. Pepe always has had an eye for the ladies - he's hit on everyone from Lady Gaga to Whoopi Goldberg - but his great love will always be show business. That's why he's returning to ABC's new series, and we can't wait.
If there's a desk or a booth or a window, chances are, you'll find Pops sitting in it, ready to check you in, or just check you out. If he can remember you. Which is not a guarantee.
As with most musical burnouts, Zoot doesn't say much, but when you can blow sax the way he can (as part of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem) words just get in the way, man. According to fan lore, he may or may not be (a) Jewish and (b) homeless.
Between the good doctor's amazing set of choppers and his skills on the ivories, he's clearly the only band leader that the Electric Mayhem will ever need.
Sometimes it's the obscure Muppets who leave the biggest impression. In The Muppets Take Manhattan, these three frogs work at the MadAve Advertising agency, where they struggle to come up with a jingle for a soap company. In other words, these three were in Mad Men long before there even was a Mad Men.
Superfans know that Scooter (foreground) is a climber, hustler and the beneficiary of some serious nepotism, having gotten his big break through his uncle.
He's the hapless, put-upon, and often blown-up assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. He's also tough to the core: Beaker may scream ("Meeeeeee!") before, during and after every one of Honeydew's experiments, but he always comes back to work the next day. And we love him for that.
Some Muppets are just underrated, and Sweetums is one of them. He's a gigantic ogre who looks terrifying, and yet, he's the nicest Muppet you'll ever meet. If you survive the bear hugs.
The smart, strong, savvy Muppets usually get all the love. But sweet, loyal, dim Beauregard is always there to get the Muppets out of a dilemma ... even if he isn't sure what a dilemma is.
The best Muppets are borne of whip-smart human observation. Has any fried-up horn player ever been better captured in puppet form than this guy?
He's not just a rat. He's a complicated rat. He's a sensitive rat. Jokes about rodents and sanitation hurt him, OK? And he and his fellow rat Muppets count as some of the most skillful scene stealers in the franchise.
If there's a fact that the Muppets would rather you not know, or a moment that would benefit from some really nice silence, this world-weary soul is always there to throw the perfect wrench in the works.
Humorless? Perhaps. Rigid? A tad. But no one - no one! - loves these United States of America, and all she represents, more than this eagle. Plus, his attempts to provide a moral center for this tricksy bunch is utterly adorable.
Daredevil, raconteur, eater of tires, great lover of chickens -- Gonzo is a little bit of everything. He's whatever we need him to be, and that's why we - and his attack-chicken girlfriend Camilla - love him.
Thought to be modeled after Mick Jagger (she was originally going to be male) Janice certainly has some serious shredding abilities on the lead guitar. She holds her own in the otherwise all-boy Electric Mayhem. She also, like, loves to walk naked on the beach, man.
Because he's cute as the dickens, that's why.
Nobody likes a critic or a heckler, unless that critic or heckler happens to be one of these two.
That face. That face! No wonder it's Rowlf, not Kermit, who often is credited as the first Muppet to achieve true national fame, thanks to a series of TV commercials and show appearances in the 1960s.
Very few of the Muppets have live hands, an element that adds an exponential amount of silliness to this already hilarious (if barely understandable) character.
Sure, his jokes are the worst, but Fozzie is the group's moral compass, urging his friends to do the right thing in the face of impossible odds.
Lew throws fish - yes, through the air - and they come back to him. That feat of physics alone earns him the right to be No. 4 on this list. Also, consider: Those he throws? They love him. Love him. Adore him. Will work with no one else.
The crazed percussionist for the Electric Mayhem must be kept on a chain at all times, lest he escape and go chasing after hapless women. But still, he has a heart of gold, and lives only for one thing: His drums. Well, OK, two things: His drums, and his mom, LaVerne.
Of course Kermit is a star. He's also sensitive singer-songwriter with a love for showbiz and an even stronger love for his friends ... and a certain pig. Put that all together, and it's no wonder that Kermit has remained one of the most enduring symbols of childhood for generations of Americans.
She has it all: Talent. Beauty. Loyalty. Culture. Terrifying physical strength. And, like the Second Wave of feminism that bore her, she lets her vulnerability and anger show in equal measure, whenever it suits her ... n'est-ce pas?