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This holiday, just be glad these aren't your relatives

Shaun Harrison
1 of 14 CBS/Landov

The Barones, Everybody Loves Raymond

Rule No. 1 of dealing with parents/in-laws: Never, ever move across the street from them. Whether Frank's insisting on making household repairs, Marie's making backhanded comments about Debra's housekeeping or Robert's moping about always being second best, this family was one big ball of too-close-for-comfort love.
2 of 14 Touchstone Pictures/The Kobal Collection


The Tenenbaums, The Royal Tenenbaums When Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) reunites with the eccentric fractured family he left behind, lying to them with a sob story about a fatal illness, he is not welcomed back with open arms. His estranged wife (Anjelica Huston) loathes him and his trio of morose children (Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow and Luke Wilson) is emotionally stunted, frozen in time at the moment of their former child-genius glory. It's dysfunction as art.
3 of 14 Alex Berliner/Fox

The Bluths, Arrested Development

Can anyone really top the Bluths on the crazy scale? Alcoholic mother, imprisoned and treasonous (allegedly) father, a failed magician son, a "never-nude" shrink/actor, and the list goes on. Then there are the "black sheep," Michael and George Michael.
4 of 14 Michael Lavine/The Kobal Collection

The Family from Malcolm in the Middle

Child prodigy Malcolm was the norm in this wild fam — we don't even know their surname! — that included a no-holds-bar mom, Lois, who dished out her own brand of psychological warfare, even on her kid-at-heart hubby. How did Malcolm ever make it out alive?
5 of 14 Columbia Pictures/The Kobal Collection

The Bundys, Married... with Children

Did this bunch really ever have a shot? From the mismatching of miserable, depressed Al and lazy, bon-bon eating Peg to the polar opposites of sexually humiliated Bud and sexually promiscuous Kelly, this family was doomed. You know it's bad when you spend most of the episode agreeing with a talking dog.
6 of 14 courtesy Fox

The Simpsons

Homer truly is the center of this family's dysfunction. It's his beer-enhanced antics and general donut-loving buffoonery that have kept this family on air for so many years. But you have to cut the guy a break — how would you act if you raised three kids that never aged?
7 of 14 courtesy MTV

The Osbournes

Do we really even have to explain? They're perhaps the most censored people in broadcast history and the rock-and-roll patriarch is rumored to have bitten the head off a bat in his younger days. We rest our case.
8 of 14 Andrew Eccles/ABC

The Walkers, Brothers & Sisters

This complicated, sprawling mess of an extended family fights about politics, sexuality and pretty much everything else. Their gossipy conference calls are legendary, what with a recovering drug addict, an adulterer, a half-sibling-turned-girlfriend, a mysterious actual half-sibling and an overbearing mother in the mix. Their dinner parties more often than not morph into hilarious, carefully choreographed shouting matches. No wonder they drink so much.
9 of 14 ABC/Retna

The Conners, Roseanne

The portrait of the real American family? The Conners showed it's not all rainbows and butterflies under the roof with their multitude of fights, sarcastic remarks, pregnancy scares and economic issues — and they did it all by making it look fun.
10 of 14 Larry Riley/FX; Michael Wong/FX

The Gavins, Rescue Me

Four words: Gavin family AA meetings.
11 of 14 courtesy Everett Collection

The Griswolds, The Vacation Movies

Nobody desperately wants the perfect Christmas more than Clark Griswold Jr. But the delight is ours with a serious case of Schadenfreude as the Griswold home remains dark despite the layer of 25,000 lights. Throw in a manic squirrel leaping from the Christmas tree and an overcooked turkey that explodes while a zany aunt dishes up lime-green Jello sprinkled with cat food, and we'd say he came as close as he ever could have hoped. And don't even get us started on Cousin Eddie. Ah, isn't it great to get the family together each year?
12 of 14 Tracy Bennett/The Kobal Collection

The Bakers, Cheaper by the Dozen

A family of 12, the aptly named Bakers (get it?) find themselves tested at managing chaos every day, especially when mom Kate leaves dad Tom in charge. Let's just say bedlam ensues. Guys, ever heard of discipline?
13 of 14 courtesy The Kobal Collection

The Addams Family

Think your family has some skeletons in the closet? How about telling someone your uncle sleeps on a bed of nails? Don't even get us started on that disembodied hand. The Addams were bizarre and unaware of their eccentricities. Ignorance is bliss, right?
14 of 14 Monty Brinton/Showtime


The Botwins, Weeds In the early seasons of Showtime's daring marijuana drama, much of the tension derived from the fact that mom Nancy (Mary Louise Parker) hid her career as a drug dealer from pretty much everyone. Once the cat is out of the dime-bag, though, her parenting skills became questionable at best as she recruits her teen son in her sales efforts, neglecting her younger son as he slips into suburban anomie, totally harshing her mellow.