When Meghan called out "TV Heather" during the OC reunion, we knew exactly what she meant. Heather loves to act as though she's above all the low blows the other women throw, and yet she was the one talking trash about Kelly, saying she "[feels] bad for her kids" since they have Kelly as a mother. Yikes! And even when Heather leans into one of her rare storylines that has nothing to do with building her McMasion - such as Terry being an absentee father - she never stands by them, and even genuinely got offended when people questioned her family life.
Has Jacqueline always been this volatile, or are we just noticing now? This year, Jacqueline appeared genuinely nasty in a way she never has before, repeatedly dragging up old drama with Melissa for no understandable reason. And even if Jax is truly just hurt by Teresa's indifference, her unstable, and at times frightening, behavior made us question whether she's gone too far to stick around.
Stephanie is boring as all hell, but at least she was around to give Brandi the emotional support she needed when Bryan was being the woooorst.
Did they cast Kathryn, ex-wife of Marcus Allen, simple to piggyback on the renewed interest in O.J. Simpson? Probably! But not even Kathryn confronting Faye Resnick about her tell-all book made Kathryn worth watching.
All Katie wanted was to get engaged. All season long, we just watched as she poked and prodded Andrew about whether or not her was going to propose. She even secretly remodeled his house to include a "Mrs. Room," which, WTF is that even? Then, after Andrew finally proposes, they decided to break up.
We will always be grateful for Meghan's sleuth skills that helped uncover Brooks' cancer scam. However, we will never forgive her for literally tapping people on the shoulder to ask if they were related for what felt like an eternity.
Charisse seems like a genuinely good person who deserves so much better than a husband who isn't around and a group of friends who are living nightmares. That being said, we can barely remember anything about her other than she thought "a pedrigree" was "some sort of animal."
We will always love Yolanda (and her fridge), and we know she'd agree with us when we say we never hope to hear the word "Munchausen" again. Unfortunately for all of us, the drama over Yolanda's lyme disease dragged down her entire final season, which also ended in her divorce from David Foster. It was truly sad (and yet often extremely boring) to watch. We just hope Yolanda is happier now.
Tiffany was a fool for thinking she could be friends with everyone, but it soon became clear that she was ride or die for LeAnne - a life decision we would file under "poor."
There was a time when Carole would have been near the top of this list. However, this year Carole showed a mean girl side of herself that we didn't quite enjoy. The other women were quick to call Carole out on this - except her new BFF Bethenny, of course - but Carole remained immune to their concern, which doesn't bode well for her future.
Eileen is not the most fashionable Housewife, nor is she the most interesting. She's just kind of... there most of the time. And while she finally got in on the drama last season, her refusal to let Vanderpump's digs go soon became grating. However, her growing friendship with Erika is proving far more charming than we ever anticipated.
The jury's still out on Dorit, but based on her first few appearances, this lavish, international jet-setter seems like she could be a lot of fun. Plus, watching Kyle fangirl over Dorit's roommate Boy George is just too good.
Ashley came under fire from the other women for a lot of things that truly aren't that scandalous, at least in the world of the Real Housewives. Seriously, what has reality TV come to if the stars can't talk openly about their sex lives, Google each other and then gossip about what they've learned? Ashley didn't always handle herself perfectly, but the more the other women attacked her etiquette, the more we wanted to defend her.
Robyn is so sincere and reasonable, she honestly felt out of place in Potomac. And yet, there is something about her that we find extremely charming - something which only grew when Robyn came to play during the two-part reunion special. Here's hoping we see more of that fire in Robyn going forward.
Now that Melissa and Tre have made up, Melissa was mainly just a pawn this season in the war between Teresa and Jacqueline. That is, when she wasn't involved with a cringe- and snooze-worthy subplot about chauvinism, her husband Joe and Envy.
We don't blame Kyle for standing by Vanderpump's side last season. The two share a very real friendship, and seriously, would you ever want to go up against Vanderpump? Didn't think so. That being said, ever since Kyle took on the peacemaker role within the group, she's become a fairly blah character whose own storylines are often overshadowed by those of her BFFs, Vanderpump and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.
Cynthia always gives us a lot of hair and a lot of great looks, but never much else. Even now that she is (finally) divorcing Peter, she is still as dull as ever. However, Cynthia genuinely seems like a nice person and we really don't mind watching her weekly fashion parade.
Brandi was a real wacky delight this year. She has a strong backbone and is insanely ridiculous, but in a fun way to watch. And Brandi meeting her grandfather for the first time was genuinely heartwarming. We're just sad it had to be contrasted with her garbage person husband Bryan, who could barely be bothered to show up for the family reunion.
Rinna was like a dog with a bone last season. And though we are inclined to believe most, if not all, of Rinna's accusations against Vanderpump, we can't approve of the way she went about it. However, Rinna returned this season like a class act, proving she could rise about Vanderpump's catty remarks and apologize, knowing full well she would never get an apology in return.
Cary began the season as the one woman who appeared too sensible for Dallas, but by the end of it - when Heidi was asking her to demonstrate oral sex on a corn dog - Cary had more than earned her spot. Was Cary being unfairly judged by the other women? Hell yes, but that only made us love her more. Team Cary always and forever.
We love Kandi, don't get us wrong. But lately, it's been feeling as though she's filming an entirely different show. Ever since her split with Phaedra, Kandi hasn't seemed that close with any of the other women. Instead, she surrounds herself with her own supporting cast of characters as though she's prepping for a spin-off.
Porsha will always be a hot mess. Even now that she's learning to control her anger, Porsha remains completely unpredictable, which is part of her charm. But really, what else do you call someone who asks her ex-boyfriend to donate sperm so she can have a baby after taking him to a Krav Maga class?
In her Housewives debut, Gizelle gave us tons of awe-inspiring looks and some jaw-dropping shade. We are talking expert-level, mind-blowing shade. Shade so good, Katie had to ask if it was shade. That level shade. However, we still haven't decided if Gizelle is the fun kind of pot-stirrer to watch or a beautiful monster (although, we're leaning towards the former).
This year, New York was all about bloody vaginas, and Dallas was all about feces. This began when Brandi wore a hat with fake poop on it, but LeAnne took it all the way home when she admitted she once pooped in a bag. The Poop Incident became one of the most bizarre Housewives storylines of 2016, and so we have to give credit where credit's due.
Lisa Vanderpump's carefully constructed image began to crumble last season when Rinna, Erika and Eileen all called her out for being manipulative. This could have made for a thrilling season, but wound up resulting one of the most convoluted and boring seasons of any franchise yet. Things only got worse when Beverly Hills returned and Vanderpump's refusal to let any of the earlier drama go exposed just how petty she really is.
Kim was always too mature to be a great Housewife and never wanted to stoop the other women's levels. That meant that she didn't make great TV, but we did learn to love her for being a voice of reason. Sadly, reason has no place in the Housewives universe.
This one and done New York Housewife gave us a lot of drama, but none of it was very fun to watch. Showing photos of her bloody "pistachio" to the other women and baking her silverware into a calzone aren't fun, wacky antics. They were bizarre decisions that were painfully uncomfortable to watch, even from afar. That being said, we're kind of sad we'll never know what Jules' life looks like now that she and Michael have split.
Tamra Judge, peacemaker, was never something we thought we'd see. And apparently, it's not something that could last either. After doing her best to uphold her Christian values and forgive and forget, the old Tamra returned in stunning fashion towards the end of the season, hitting Kelly, potentially plotting to get Kelly "naked wasted" and once again turning on her on-and-off BFF Vicki.
Dolores is a straight shooter, and watching her come into her own this year was a real treat. We also need to thank Dolores for bringing her 102-year-old grandmother into our lives, since Elizabeth had about as much tolerance for the Jacqueline-Melissa nonsense as we did.
Bethenny has always been a fun kind of bitch to watch, but this season she lost a lot of her endearing qualities. Her harsh treatment of Sonja was hard to stomach, and the way she decked out her hotel room with Skinnygirl merch ahead of telling Luann about Tom was so calculated we (almost) couldn't believe it.
Fresh out of prison, Teresa debuted her new Namaste attitude. And whether or not you enjoyed her new outlook, you have to respect Tre for sticking to it. No matter what went down, Teresa (nearly) never took the bait whenever Jacqueline attempted to rile her up. And we felt genuinely touched to see the ways the other women rallied around her to lend support when Joe went to prison. But as nice as it was to have Tre back on our TVs, we were even more grateful for the return of her children - namely, star on the rise Melania.
Siggy is ranked this high for one reason, and one reason only: She gave us the most iconic entrance for a first-season Housewife of all time when she strolled into her first scene bandaged up post-facelift and proceeded to drink her soup through a straw.
Lu was insufferable for the majority of the year, which is exactly why her relationships with the other women suffered so greatly (never forget when she kept interrupting Jules discussing her father's life threatening illness to rant about Bethenny calling her a whore). But as a viewer of the show, we only feel gratitude for the gift she gave us this year when she confronted Tom about cheating on her using her iPhone's voice control. "How could you do this to me? Question mark," indeed.
There's no doubt that the women of Atlanta are the funniest Housewives, but Phaedra is far and beyond the reigning comedy queen. This lawyer/mortician/activist/workout video star always delivers the sharpest reads without ever raising her voice - that is, when she isn't allegedly calling the Feds on her co-star Kandi.
Kenya had to deal with a lot of serious sh-- this year, including her nonexistent relationship with her mom and Matt's violent behavior - both of which were troubling to watch unfold. But through all this, our love for Kenya has only grown. Now, we just pray Kenya can get to a place in life where she's happy and stable, so that she can give her full attention to insulting Sheree's "tired a-- Mama Joyce wig" and finishing Moore Manor.
Potomac's first season wasn't exactly a runaway hit, but Karen quickly established herself as the show's only breakout star. This high and mighty society queen clearly thinks a lot of herself. And you know what? We don't blame her! As long as she keeps delivering one-liners like this, we'll be happy to journey back to Maryland when Potomac returns.
With NeNe gone (again), it was nice to have an OG queen like Sheree back. We love how Sheree never takes sh-- from anyone and somehow manages to make a fight about baseboards must-see TV. Of course, Sheree might have been a little higher on this list had she actually finished her much-awaited Chautea instead of merely pissing all over Moore Manor. (Although, props to her for at least almost finishing it. Fingers crossed she can finally move in in 2017!)
One thing was clear this season, Ramona loves being single. And you we love single Ramona too! She was more self-involved than ever this year, prioritizing gossip and dating over her friends whenever it was convenient, which resulted in what arguably might have been the most surreal Housewives scene all year.
Vicki was in a tough spot this season, having been ostracized from the group following her alleged involvement in Brooks faking cancer. In classic Vicki style, she decided to boost her public image by getting involved in a "charity" called Kill All Cancer. And that's only beginning to scratch the surface of the mind-boggling moves made by the OG of the OC this year, including spreading gossip that David "beat the sh--" out of Shannon and that Tamra's husband Eddie is gay. And yet, when Vicki yelled, "Get off my show" during the reunion, we knew this wasn't a moment of Jill Zarin-level inflated ego. It really is Vicki's show, and we can't imagine it without her.
Oh, Sunja. She gave and she gave and she gave this season, and what did she get in return? Her brother-in-law's butler and a whole lot of nothing. Bethenny disowned her after the Tipsy Girl fiasco. Dorinda exiled her from the Berkshires. Lu, whom Sonja had taken in off the street out of the kindness of her heart, got engaged to Sonja's longterm lover. But through it all, Sonja stayed classy and never let the haters bring her down.
Shannon Beador delivered in spades this year, rightfully directing her "judgy eyes" on Kelly and Vicki, breathlessly flashing her cleavage at David on a Cabo beach and maybe, maybe not, plotting to get Kelly drunk in order to make her seem unstable in Ireland. Shannon is a national treasure, and we won't hear a bad word against her.
The one shining light in Beverly Hills' otherwise slog of a year was Erika Girardi and her p---y patting alter ego Erika Jayne. Both in her music and her actions, Erika gave zero f---s and exulted in her overtly lavish lifestyle, flying her entire glam squad to Dubai and jet-setting to the Hamptons where she refused to take Bethenny Frankel's sh--t. Erika truly was an enigma wrapped in a riddle and perfection.
Look, we know this is controversial, but no single Housewife made as big of an impact this year than Kelly. In her first - and possibly only season if the other women get their way - Kelly dominated nearly every storyline. Whether she was calling Shannon a c--t, flicking people's noses or saying racist remarks, bad puns and horrible things about Tamra's relationship with her daughter, Kelly was the real puppet this season, and everyone else was the master.