1 of 20 Colleen Hayes/ABC; Eric McCandless/ABC
This TV season, ABC has brought back the TV b---- with GCB and Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. But how does the new crop measure up against some of the small screen's all-time greatest mean girls (and guys)? Click ahead to see a few of our favorites.
2 of 20 ABC Archive/Getty Images
Alexis Carrington Colby, Dynasty
The godmother of TV b----es. As fashionable as she was acid-tongued, when Alexis wasn't trying to rule over her children, she was focused on destroying the life of her former husband, Blake, and his new wife Krystle. The result was a number of hilariously delightful catfights, including one that ended with Alexis and Krystle in a lily pond and another where Alexis tried to strangle her opponent with a feather boa. Just thinking of it gives us the urge to light up one of Alexis' signature Nat Sherman cigarillos.
3 of 20 Spelling Television/Kobal Collection
Amanda Woodward, Melrose Place
Not many characters can be credited with saving a show, but Amanda Woodward did just that. After a memorable guest spot in the first season, the character was made a regular in Season 2 and ratings spiked. The definition of the modern b----, the ruthless and conniving vixen ruled the roost at D&D, deliciously tormented poor Allison like it was her life's mission (it probably was) and basically wrote the book on seducing men. Did we also mention that she killed her ex-boyfriend years ago and had Eve convicted for it? And just when you think Amanda couldn't outwit anyone anymore for that murder, she faked her death for the second time in the series finale.
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Edie Britt, Desperate Housewives
The most hated woman on Wisteria Lane, Edie sure had fun ruining the lives of all of her female Fairview neighbors — usually by sleeping with their ex-husbands. Of course, she also set fire to Susan's house and faked a suicide attempt to win Carlos' attention. Eventually, Edie got what was coming to her when she was nearly strangled to death by her psycho husband. She managed to escape, but only to promptly crash into a light pole, where she was electrocuted to death.
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Brenda Walsh, Beverly Hills, 90210
Brenda may have started out an innocent Midwesterner but by the time she was done with West Beverly High, the brunette was a force to be reckoned with. She was always stirring up trouble with her parents by dating Dylan, who also caused her to clash with many of the other girls in her social circle. In fact, it could be argued that all her b----y behavior was just about trying to keep her man. Well, you know, except for that time she cheated on him in Paris.
6 of 20 Ron Jaffe/AMC
Pete Campbell, Mad Men
There's no denying that Pete Campbell is Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce's slimiest weasel. Although his naked ambition has brought out his uglier side a few times (see also: when he blackmailed Don about his past in front of Bert Cooper), it has also made him one of the firm's most valuable assets. What truly does Pete in is his petulance. Whether he's trying to humiliate Roger, or simply whining about his woes ("Why can't I get anything good all at once?"), sometimes you just want to slug the guy. And thankfully, somebody finally did.
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Sherry Palmer, 24
The perfect manipulative political wife, Sherry did whatever she could to make sure her husband David would end up in the White House — even if that meant covering up the fact that their son murdered the man who raped her daughter. Her other egregious acts included enlisting a staffer to sleep with her husband and screaming at a man in order to force him to have a heart attack. She's not First Lady material, which is why we cheered when Julia shot her in the chest.
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Lady Mary, Downton Abbey
Ah, yes, the upstairs-downstairs b----. Lady Mary was simply too good for poor Matthew, who wasn't nearly as rich as her highness and not as exotic as Mr. Pamuk (rest his sleazy soul). So guess what happened when she lowered that upturned nose long enough to realize Matthew's not only noble but also hot? It bit her in her b----y butt.
9 of 20 Warner Bros/Kobal Collection
Dr. Robert Romano, ER
Before Dr. Gregory House, there was Dr. Robert Romano, the original abrasive doc whom you loved to hate. Between his self-important 'tude, racist and bigoted comments and using the OR to operate on his dog, it's a wonder HR was never on his case. It seemed like Romano finally got his when a helicopter blade chopped off his arm and he then died the following season when — yes — another helicopter fell on him. Only Corday (or "Lizzie," as he called her), his unrequited crush, attended his funeral. But we mourn Romano not just for his "he did not just say that" wisecracks, but for his little seen sensitive side: grieving over Lucy's death, communicating with Reese via sign language and, of course, showing genuine respect and feelings for his dear Lizzie.
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Jack and Karen, Will & Grace
Will & Grace might as well have been called Jack & Karen. Narcissistic, spoiled, vain, self-absorbed, but ultimately very loyal, the BFFs were equal-opportunity offenders, laying in one snippy zinger after another to everyone from strangers to Karen's household staff to Will and Grace themselves. Still, you knew they meant well. Let's face it: Grace's wardrobe was very questionable at times. Now if only Karen can deliver a "Honey, what's going on here?" to Debra Messing on Smash.
11 of 20 Craig Blankenhorn/NBC
Nope, not a single scene has passed in which we haven't wanted to smack the bejesus out of Eileen's slithering, sleazy, slippery spy of an assistant. Oh, many have tried justifying his presence, calling him the show's Chekhov's gun, curiously weaving his tangled web around… wait, we're not curious. This is not a "love to hate" situation. We'd feel sorry for Jaime Cepero for having to play this guy, but Ellis has left no room in our hearts for sympathy.
12 of 20 Prashant Gupta/FX
Constance, American Horror Story
This murderous, bigoted b---- was only too happy to kill and let kill on her path to a second chance at motherhood. Jessica Lange put a chilling (and, yes, hilarious) Southern spin on American Horror Story's evil matriarch, who by the season's end had — spoiler alert — become grandma to a budding serial killer.
13 of 20 Giovanni Rufino/The CW
Georgina, Gossip Girl
As far as we can tell, nothing motivates Georgina's raining hellfire on the Upper East Side — not jealousy, not revenge, not unrequited love. As Lady Gaga might say, this little monster was born this way. A classic mean girl if ever there was one.
14 of 20 Ray Mickshaw/Fox
Santana Lopez, Glee
Long before Gleeks knew what a set of pipes Naya Rivera had, it was Santana's acid tongue that got her noticed. Back in Season 1, the Lima Heights Adjacent resident served not only as a tough sidekick to the meek Quinn, but also a Sue Sylvester-in-training. Santana's coming out — "the only straight I am is straight-up b----," she so proudly proclaimed — has since softened her, but her best jabs at the rest of the glee club — particularly Rachel the dwarf, "Finnocence," and "Trouty Mouth" — will always hold a special place in our hearts.
15 of 20 Colleen Hayes/ABC
Victoria Grayson, Revenge
It would be more difficult to love the icy and manipulative Grayson family matriarch if Madeleine Stowe didn't look she loved every minute of it. Victoria has quite a rap sheet: She framed her lover for terrorism, falsely accused said lover of raping her, had her best friend exiled from the Hamptons for sleeping with her husband and even had her son beat up in prison. (OK, she kind of had good intentions on that last one, but still…) Conrad may be the brains of the Grayson family operation, but Victoria is its heartless soul. Watch your back, Emily Thorne.
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Cordelia Chase, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sunnydale's resident mean girl has it all: looks, wealth and a snooty cheerleader's sense of entitlement. Her overwhelming vanity and shallowness can make her insufferable, except for the fact that she can string together some deliciously catty zingers, like the time she told poor Xander: "'Integral part' of the group? Xander, you're the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. 'Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't."
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Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development
The Bluths' sharp-tongued, pill-popping superficial matriarch who's never too far from a martini is surely in the running for Worst Mother Ever. Her targets of choice were her children, whom she emotionally and verbally abused so much that you were certain that she had them for the sole purpose of making their lives miserable. But Lucille isn't totally devoid of feeling and a conscience: She expressed anguish over the possibility of Buster being shipped to Iraq — after she had enlisted him in the Army herself. Of course, that could've just been the result of their quasi-incestuous Oedipal relationship.
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Joffrey Baratheon, Game of Thrones
Sure the teen twerp inherited the Iron Throne, but that gives him no right to threaten someone's life whenever his royal knickers are in a bunch. He's a huge coward who still goes crying to mother, even as he revels in brutalizing his minions and killing pets with his crossbow. That pale-eyed glare, sneering lip and mop top are just begging for a satisfying smack, and we're both eager for and dreading the day that he might join the ranks of the mercilessly murdered on the series.
19 of 20 STARZ
The glamorous domina is used to every self-indulgence and that includes using a gladiator for her own personal stud services and then shipping off the slave he loves to get raped by all the Roman elite. But it's not just slaves who are targets. She's humiliated her own BFF and even slowly poisoned her father-in-law. And yet, we can't help marveling at how good she looks wearing those wigs while doing all this.
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Miss Piggy, The Muppets
You don't have to be human to be a b----. Destined to be a star (in her mind), everyone's favorite fame-hungry porcine diva will stop at nothing to get exactly what moi wants and will not hesitate to wield her all-mighty karate chop if necessary. Even her long-suffering beau Kermit is not immune to her schemes. Remember when she tried to trick him into marrying her during a sketch? But underneath her self-serving ways is a heart. In The Muppets film, Miss Piggy came through for her fellow felt pals despite still feeling jilted by Kermit. Naturally, she and Kermie reconcile. Kissy kissy!