Oh, how I’ve missed the eccentric families of Wife Swap. Their general wackiness can cure any case of the Monday blues. That said, let’s start with Sheila Rush, an avid dog lover, whose husband, Ray, and son, Tyler, felt that they came last in Sheila’s set of priorities. For Sheila, her six dogs are her entire world. She doesn’t want friends because she wants to have more time with her dogs. She makes her husband sleep in the downstairs guest room, while the dogs sleep with her in the bed. She spends a hundred thousand dollars a year on dog clothes (which seems atrocious and kind of sad, since that much money could probably clothe and feed so many needy people) and $3 a week on dog food. Her dogs eat fine steak off fine china, but her husband and son eat fast food off of paper products.Sheila made me cringe a lot. She was definitely mean, like a little kid trying not to listen to anyone else’s point of view because she considered herself the only mouthpiece ...
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I had a few problems with Ashley Pitney. One, she had this whole theory that real men shouldn't tap dance. Gene Kelly tap danced. So did Fred Astaire. Both were men. Neither one was really a "girly man." Men can tap dance or do ballet. But Ashley seemed to be against that. She wanted her boys to play sports and be tough men. She said dancing was for little girls in tutus, which bothered me. Because both boys and girls can dance, play sports, do whatever. Ashley Pitney seemed to have a very specific idea of gender roles that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. She waited on her husband and boys hand and foot, which is fine if that's what she prefers. While Alan Pitney gambled online for hours and her sons played video games, she did everything. But she didn’t mind. Ashley Pitney didn’t know what to do when she was transplanted into the Silver household, where the man waited on the wife hand and foot and the boys enjoyed tap dancing more than sports. Instead of trying to engage...
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Finally, we have a new episode of Wife Swap. Yes, it seems to be that ABC has moved it to Friday nights, but hopefully that’s only temporary. At least we have a new episode. And I have to say, I wasn’t disappointed by these quirky families. I’ve missed seeing the families each week, getting a glimpse into their lives and witnessing how they react to drastic differences from what they’re used to in their households. It’s entertaining and calming to me, for some reason, to know that such unique families exist out there. I always wonder where they find these families and if they’re real. And I always wonder how I’d fare in each of the households. I’d definitely find it hard to stay in the Browne family. The dad, Trenton, seemed like a sweet enough man who found it hard to discipline his kids. His wife, Christie, liked to have fun with her boys, which meant she drove the getaway car when they toilet-papered neighboring houses. (I wonder if their n...
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I was a little nervous about the Grimes family when I saw them making that answering-machine message — “We’re not in Japan, but we’ll get back to you as soon as we can,” or something like that. I don’t mind musical answering-machine messages, but it was something about Lori Grimes’ eyes. Her eyes were always wide open and she was always smiling and happy. I know that smiley, happy people exist in the world, but those eyes of hers made me nervous. It was a combination of her slightly crazy eyes and her penchant for singing whatever action she was doing, like making cheesecakes or getting kids out of bed. I just didn’t trust her and I don’t know why. Lori Grimes seemed like a sweet, nice enough person, but whenever she or her husband, Doug, or her kids used the word “training,” that familiar sense of nervousness returned to me. Why do they use the word "training" when discussing how they “teach” their kids? Why not use t...
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So, let’s talk about this explosive table meeting. I’d heard whisperings about the explosive scene and seen the frantic previews, but I had never seen this episode until the repeat tonight. I’m still trying to figure out what caused it. First, Kim Carrao leaves the house because cowboy Randy Ridgely is being belligerent. On the way to the table meeting, Randy’s gearing up to fight Kim’s husband Louis. They get to the table meeting. Kim talks first. She accuses Randy of not doing anything she asked. He responds by saying she didn’t do anything at all, and she was a bad influence on the kids. He says she brought a “trough” of candy into the house, which makes Louis laugh (it made me laugh, too, 'cause it wasn’t really a trough, it was just a bowl and he was freaking out over candy of all things), which makes Jen angry at Louis for laughing. “What’s so funny?” she barks at Louis. Then Louis starts telling Kim how much of a pru...
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This is the second episode in a row in which we’ve had some kind of meat-related contention between the families. Tonight’s meat of choice was deer. And I never thought I’d have to put these words down, but a main issue of the episode was deer urine. While initially I was kind of grossed out/weirded out by a family that together bottled deer pee, I have to say I enjoyed them more than the Hamiltons, the family of pampered princesses. I would never bottle deer pee or eat deer meat, but everybody’s different. And if it were a choice between bottling deer pee and spending an hour shopping with Chastity Hamilton, I don’t know what I’d choose. But I’d probably go with bottling deer pee, as long as I could have nose plugs and cocktails while doing it. Chastity Hamilton was more than just a typical sassy 14-year-old. She called her dad Tim; it always surprises me to hear children call their parents by their first name. She racked up $200 cell phone bills,...
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It's been a while since I’ve said “ew!” so many times while watching a TV show. My face kept cringing every time I saw the Haigwoods eating raw chicken or raw meat. When I think of raw diets, I think more along the lines of consuming raw vegetables. But raw chicken and other meat? Do people really eat that? It just doesn’t seem safe to me. The raw eggs didn’t bother me so much, although I was surprised that the son, Lee Haigwood, ate 12 raw eggs a day. I guess it’s just something I don’t understand, but I know I would’ve had the same reaction as Kim Hess-Webb's response. I wouldn’t have eaten the raw meat. I wouldn’t have tried to tell them and their kids that the way they were living was wrong. I don’t think she was OK in doing that. It’s one thing to disagree with a lifestyle, but telling the kids that their parents were trying to harm them was kind of out of line. Maybe if they were against the raw food diet completely a...
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Is it me, or is this show seeming to follow a pattern of throwing together faith followers and non-faith followers? Every week, there’s been some kind of spirituality divide, and it’s usually been a really wide divide, not just minor differences driving a wedge between them. It usually causes a big blow-up, loads of drama and some moaning about preaching and morality. I always get the feeling that nothing really changed, but why should it when it’s about something as intrinsic as spirituality? That can’t be changed in the course of two weeks. But tonight there was something different about it, at least with Tony Meeks and Kristin Hoover. Tony used to be a pastor. I liked when Kristin asked how he went from pastor to punk, and Tony replied that it wasn’t a large jump. It’s interesting that both Tish and Tony Meeks had religious upbringings and wound up on the other end of the rebellious spectrum. There has to be some middle ground where they can come tog...
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I’ll be the first to say it: I don’t know much at all about nature worship. I try to keep an open mind about things. If someone wants to worship a tree, I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’ll try to figure it out, yes, but sometimes you just have to give up and let people be. The Sweaney-Ernst family is one of those families I could easily roll my eyes at for their oddness. I could react like Stephanie Starling did to the idea of a fairy tree and talking to vegetables — she burst out laughing and started instantly mocking them. But I’d rather just look at them as people who have a strange devotion to nature. I wouldn’t call it a hobby because it means more to them than just a hobby. I wouldn’t say that I’d join them in their rituals, but I think it’s an interesting way to bring a family together. I don’t agree with what seemed like Carol and Laura’s push to have their kids just as devoted to nature as they are. What re...
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When I first saw Nicole Bimonte, I didn’t think she was 12 years old. She looked a lot older. And she acted like a complete brat. She didn’t have any rules, so, of course, she was raising hell, being immature and throwing fits. She jumped up and down on her floor, causing the chandelier in the kitchen to shake. She was monstrous - and I’m sure this was the point of showing the various scenes of her. I don’t know what it’d be like to be around her 24/7. I wouldn’t have been able to stay around her for very long; I would’ve walked away from her, probably off to some quiet place where I could recover. But her parents weren’t stopping her behavior. They were letting it happen. Lori Bimonte doesn’t like structure or rules. She keeps clothes in the kitchen, which befuddled me. I get that it was supposed to be weird, but didn’t the kids have bureaus or storage containers of some kind where they could put their socks and shoes? It seemed bar...
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