Say this for Joe Mantegna: He doesn’t make Criminal Minds any worse. Like that’s even possible. This inexplicably popular crime drama remains the most pretentious, the most simplistic and the most dehumanizing of CBS’ current glut of procedurals. Replacing Mandy Patinkin, who quit between seasons — I’m guessing he finally watched an episode — Mantegna makes a valiant effort at creating an actual character, but he invariably gets lost amid the wood (his supporting cast) and the cheese (the scripts).We first see him bird hunting in a Virginia marsh. The next time we see water, a dead body (a brutalized, mutilated woman, naturally) is floating in a Dallas suburb. This victim’s backstory? She comes home to find a "Have You Seen Me?" poster on her door with her own face on it. Understandably spooked, she goes to the sheriff, who figures it’s just a Halloween prank. We know better, having seen this show in action before. Soon enough, she’s a go...
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