Mon May 4 5:00pm
Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts(Season 3, Episode 1) FX

Alan is laid up after falling off the roof, so Charlie spends a weekend caring for Jake, whose needs and wants interfere with Charlie's social life. Betsy: Kim Oja.

Mon May 4 5:30pm
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover(Season 3, Episode 2) FX

Charlie answers phones at Alan's chiropractic office while his brother's away, and turns the place into a brothel when he hires a masseuse. Meanwhile, Alan has to meet with Jake's principal to discuss a picture Jake drew. Coco: Candace Kita. Tanya: Anna Ph (more…)

Tue May 5 5:00pm
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark(Season 3, Episode 3) FX

When Charlie learns that Alan has been dating Judith and hoping to get back together, he does everything he can think of to keep them apart. Sandy and Mandy Bentley guest star. Judith: Marin Hinkle. Rose: Melanie Lynskey.

Tue May 5 5:30pm
Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs(Season 3, Episode 4) FX

Alan lets Berta stay at Charlie's house for a few days, which causes a rift between the brothers and forces Alan to look for a new place to live. Berta: Conchata Ferrell. Jake: Angus T. Jones. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen.

Wed May 6 5:00pm
We Call It Mr. Pinky(Season 3, Episode 5) FX

Charlie becomes impotent when armchair psychoanalyst Rose tells him he has unresolved issues with his mom. Meanwhile, Alan gets angry when Charlie gives Jake advice about girls. Jake: Angus T. Jones. Rose: Melanie Lynskey.

Wed May 6 5:30pm
Hi, Mr. Horned One(Season 3, Episode 6) FX

Charlie is thrilled that he's dating a hot, exciting woman (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe), but Alan can't find much to like about her. In fact, he's sure that she has put a curse on both Charlie and him.

Thu May 7 4:00pm
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop(Season 3, Episode 7) FX

Martin Sheen guest stars as Rose's dad, who confronts Charlie and asks what his intentions are towards his daughter after an inebriated Charlie sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Margaret: June Squibb. Rose: Melanie Lynskey. Evelyn: Holland Taylor. Alan: Jo (more…)

Thu May 7 4:30pm
That Voodoo That I Do Do(Season 3, Episode 8) FX

Charlie dupes Jake into joining a ballet class just so he can flirt with the teacher (Emmanuelle Vaugier). Jake: Angus T. Jones. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen.

Fri May 8 12:00pm
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop(Season 3, Episode 7) FX

Martin Sheen guest stars as Rose's dad, who confronts Charlie and asks what his intentions are towards his daughter after an inebriated Charlie sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Margaret: June Squibb. Rose: Melanie Lynskey. Evelyn: Holland Taylor. Alan: Jo (more…)

Fri May 8 12:30pm
That Voodoo That I Do Do(Season 3, Episode 8) FX

Charlie dupes Jake into joining a ballet class just so he can flirt with the teacher (Emmanuelle Vaugier). Jake: Angus T. Jones. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen.

Fri May 8 4:30pm
Madame and Her Special Friend(Season 3, Episode 9) FX

Cloris Leachman plays Charlie's wealthy neighbor who wants Alan to be her boy toy. Meanwhile, Jake wants to send money to a televangelist. Kim: April Bowlby. Hector: Phil Abrams. Jake: Angus T. Jones.

Fri May 8 5:00pm
Something Salty and Twisted(Season 3, Episode 10) FX

Charlie helps Alan with his unhealthy need to always to gain approval from women. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. Alan: Jon Cryer.

Sat May 9 9:00am
Santa's Village of the Damned(Season 3, Episode 11) FX

Alan starts dating a Martha Stewart-like perfectionist (Josie Davis) who takes command of the house during the holidays. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. Jake: Angus T. Jones.

Sat May 9 9:30am
That Special Tug(Season 3, Episode 12) FX

Charlie goes to a psychiatrist (Jane Lynch) to try and learn how to deal with Alan's emotional problems. Terry: Andrea Bendewald. Beth: Valerie Azlynn.

Sat May 9 10:00am
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium(Season 3, Episode 13) FX

Charley uncharacteristically finds himself in a relationship that isn't based on sex.

Sat May 9 10:30am
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded(Season 3, Episode 14) FX

Charlie and Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) decide to make love, but after the long wait, he's worried that he won't live up to her expectations. Meanwhile, Alan has his hands full with one of Charlie's former lovers. Kandi: April Bowlby. Alan: Jon Cryer.

Sun May 10 1:00am
Santa's Village of the Damned(Season 3, Episode 11) FX

Alan starts dating a Martha Stewart-like perfectionist (Josie Davis) who takes command of the house during the holidays. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. Jake: Angus T. Jones.

Sun May 10 1:30am
That Special Tug(Season 3, Episode 12) FX

Charlie goes to a psychiatrist (Jane Lynch) to try and learn how to deal with Alan's emotional problems. Terry: Andrea Bendewald. Beth: Valerie Azlynn.

Sun May 10 3:00am
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium(Season 3, Episode 13) FX

Charley uncharacteristically finds himself in a relationship that isn't based on sex.

Sun May 10 3:30am
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded(Season 3, Episode 14) FX

Charlie and Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) decide to make love, but after the long wait, he's worried that he won't live up to her expectations. Meanwhile, Alan has his hands full with one of Charlie's former lovers. Kandi: April Bowlby. Alan: Jon Cryer.

Mon May 11 5:00pm
My Tongue Is Meat(Season 3, Episode 15) FX

Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) and Charlie clash over his lifestyle.

Mon May 11 5:30pm
Ergo, the Booty Call(Season 3, Episode 16) FX

Alan does his best to avoid the awkwardness of having his 22-year-old girlfriend attend Jake's birthday party.

Tue May 12 5:00pm
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer(Season 3, Episode 17) FX

Charlie is tricked by his mom and Alan into attending a jingle writers awards dinner, a prize he's never won, where he has to endure comments from a pompous multiple winner (Jon Lovitz). Gordon: J.D. Walsh.

Tue May 12 5:30pm
The Spit-Covered Cobbler(Season 3, Episode 18) FX

Alan starts paying his girlfriend's bills and runs into financial problems.

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  • Premiered: September 22, 2003
  • Rating: TV-14
  • User Rating:3.82 out of 5 (1,534 ratings)
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  • Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutc… (more)

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