Two and a Half Men Episodes

2003, TV Show

Two and a Half Men Season 4 episodes

May 14, 2007: Who's Your Daddy? Season 4, Episode 24

Like two little kids in a candy store, Alan and Charlie could not be more giddy over the idea of Teddy (Robert Wagner), becoming their new daddy. Only it wasn't the lure of candy that had these two giggling with excitement. It was more about the "toys" they would get to play with, such as a limo, a private plane, a penthouse suite and ringside tickets to a boxing match in Vegas. However, the trip to Sin City did serve a larger purpose. Teddy had plans of popping the question to Evelyn, and he wanted Charlie and Alan's blessing to move forward with the proposal. Somewhere between the gelato and the prostitutes, the guys managed to give him their enthusiastic approval. Should they have been at all concerned that Teddy lied to their mother about their little outing, branding it as a business trip? Nah, if anything, I think that indiscretion only scored Teddy more points with them. Besides, they had a wedding to plan now!The funniest and most shocking point of the night came when Cha... read more

May 7, 2007: Nourishing the Soul Season 4, Episode 23

Why do I suddenly feel the need to have some work done on my front porch? It's probably just because Fernando (Enrique Iglesias) did such an awesome job on Charlie's deck, before he got fired. Yeah, that's probably the reason. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Enrique, I mean, Fernando, is extremely easy on the eyes. All joking aside, though, I think Enrique did a great job of portraying Charlie's handyman tonight. His comic timing was flawless, and getting to hear him sing was just icing on the cake.This week, Charlie found himself competing with the younger version of himself when Fernando arrived and sent all of the women around him into a tailspin. Even Berta was bitten by the smitten bug when she laid eyes on the hunky handyman. In fact, Berta was so set on giving Fernando more work that she broke a kitchen cabinet just to give him another reason to stay. I think I would have done the same thing.However, it was Chloe's (Rachel Cannon) sudden interest in Fernando ... read more

April 30, 2007: Beginner's Luck Season 4, Episode 22

I'm impressed. This week, Charlie took Jake to the racetrack and the youngest Harper managed to win more than $1,000, with a bet on a horse that had 80-to-1 odds! I went to the racetrack this past Sunday (purely for research purposes, of course), methodically studied the stats of each horse and jockey, contemplated track conditions and other various factors... and after five races, let's just say I'm no closer to buying that new car I've had my eyes on! Further driving home the point that I have no business being at a racetrack, I caught a glimpse of a beautiful Aston Martin on my way out of the parking lot. It's just not fair. Joining me in the bad-luck club was Alan, who managed to spend his entire Saturday at the DMV, despite having made an appointment. Feeling sorry for his fellow neighbors who had a much longer wait ahead of them, Alan not only gave away his snack bar, but he ultimately fell victim to the charms of a beautiful woman, who managed to swindle Alan out of his prime... read more

April 23, 2007: Who Is Alan Harper? Season 4, Episode 21

After meeting Greg (Matt Roth), Alan's gay friend from his single-parent support group, Charlie began to question his own sexual identity. Might Charlie be gay, too? As he began to wonder, Alan gave him reason to think he might be: "You're 40 years old, never married and you play the piano." Charlie also found himself on the defense when Alan suggested that all of the special moisturizers and hair gels he keeps might be indicative of something more than a desire to look good. Charlie's response: "Excuse me for not wanting to spend my fifties looking like a catcher's mitt."While Charlie did some soul-searching with his therapist, Alan found himself being congratulated by everyone from Berta to Judith for finally "coming out." Even Jake thought his dad was dating Greg. Once Judith suggested that Alan was now "glowing" because of his new relationship, he began to wonder if everyone might be onto something. Suddenly, Alan found himself thinking this could be the reason he's had so many... read more

April 16, 2007: A Meaningless Fling Season 4, Episode 20

Tonight's episode truly marked a milestone for our favorite Harper men. Not only did it bring an end to Alan's days of alimony, but it also gave Charlie a taste of what it's like to be on the receiving end of "a meaningless fling." As for Jake, well, it proved to be a messy night for him, too. First, let's talk about Myra (Judy Greer). I really hope this isn't the last we see of her. She and Charlie had a good, albeit brief relationship, and it was rather enjoyable to watch Charlie fall into a more vulnerable role for once. Part of me wonders if that wasn't a case of Charlie wanting something he couldn't have, or if he really did think he'd found his match. Regardless of the reason, their time together did make for some great dialogue. In one of their funnier exchanges, Charlie revealed his secrets on how he manages to get a woman out of his bed. According to him, if he's only interested in seeing the woman leave for the day, he'll tell her, "I have to see a dermatologist about a... read more

Smooth as a Ken Doll Season 4, Episode 19

As Judith and Herb's wedding day nears, Charlie befriends Herb's sister. Myra: Judy Greer. Bethany: Sara Erikson. Herb: Ryan Stiles. read more

March 19, 2007: Welcome Back, Kandi Season 4, Episode 18

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the last time we saw Kandi and Alan together, weren’t they fighting over who would get to keep the dog? Now, a few repeats later, we find Alan not only lending Kandi his lab coat for her audition, but he’s also reading lines to help her prepare! I’m so confused. Weren’t these two supposed to be at odds? I guess this just further helps to illustrate how much of a hold she still has on Alan, despite their divorce. Aside from the unusualness of the situation, it was great to see Kandi back in action. I was also very impressed with her ability to correctly pronounce all of those medical terms tonight. Well, aside from fur-nus-ic, that is. It was also hard to tell if Kandi was auditioning for a cop show or an adult-film project, especially with a show title like "Stiffs." At any rate, the Harper men certainly seemed to enjoy watching her rehearse in their living room.Speaking of adult content, this week Jake seemed to be showing a lo... read more

I Merely Slept With a Commie Season 4, Episode 17

Evelyn complains about the lack of mourning at a friend's funeral, leading Charlie and Alan to be brutally honest with her about what hers could be like because of how she treats people. But they discover that not everyone feels the same way about her when they drop by on her birthday. read more

February 19, 2007: Wherefore Art Thou, Fountain of Youth? Season 4, Episode 16

"Why no sequel to Ferris Bueller?" I loved that Alan tried to pass himself off as Matthew Broderick more than once tonight. First, it was in hopes of gaining entry to a super-prestigious nightclub, then it was to help get the attention of a doctor in a hospital. His first attempt didn't go so well, but it did get me thinking that there are some physical similarities between Cryer and Broderick. They both appear to be around the same age, height and build, and they both have short, dark hair. I could see how someone might mistake the two, perhaps in a poorly lit room. But let's get back to the matter at hand. Tonight, Charlie really starts to feel old, from the weird stuff he keeps hacking up to his inability to keep up with his 24-year-old companion. It's amazing what a little trip to the ER can do to a person's life. For Charlie, it was an awakening. Suddenly, he began rethinking his lifestyle as he came to the realization that, "Wherever I go, I’m the oldest guy in the room."... read more

February 12, 2007: Goodbye, England's Rose Season 4, Episode 15

OK, I know it’s cliché, but sometimes you really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. However, since this is the week of Valentine’s Day, I guess it’s only appropriate that we got a lesson in love. How strange, though, that this lesson came to us courtesy of Charlie and Rose? First, major props to Berta for some priceless moments tonight. Especially during her exchange with Charlie on why he never gave Rose more of a chance. His reasoning: “This is a woman who stalked me, who spied on me, who snuck into my house to write her name and address in my underwear.” Funny how Charlie would later use said underwear to track Rose down and beg her to stay, but we’ll get to that later. Now, I have to recount Berta’s priceless response: “Oh, boo-hoo. Somebody cares about Charlie. Nobody ever wrote their name in my underwear. Wait, one time. The Department of Corrections.” Too funny. I wish Berta was my wisecracking maid. ... read more

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami Season 4, Episode 14

Charlie's new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields) seems uncannily like Alan, which prompts Charlie to try and fix them up with the hope that they'll fall in love---and he'll get rid of Alan. Vanessa: Deprise D. Brescia. Eva: Carly Thomas. read more

Don't Worry, Speed Racer Season 4, Episode 13

Alan confronts Judith when Jake mentions that he hears his mom and Herb (Ryan Stiles) having sex; Charlie discovers that he's repressed his own memory involving his mom and a sexual partner. Hiroshi: Sab Shimono. read more

Castrating Sheep in Montana Season 4, Episode 12

Charlie discovers that Alan has been secretly dating Berta's daughter (Sara Rue) and worries about how Berta will take the news, but he and Alan are taken by surprise by her uncharacteristic reaction. Hector: Marco Sanchez. read more

Walnuts and Demerol Season 4, Episode 11

On Christmas Eve, Charlie's lusty plans for his date are thwarted by guests who keep stopping by, especially Evelyn, who is determined to keep them apart for some unexplained reason. Dorothy: Susan Sullivan. Gloria: Jessica Collins. Herb: Ryan Stiles. read more

Kissing Abraham Lincoln Season 4, Episode 10

Charlie's latest lover takes over his house and pushes Berta's buttons by treating her like a maid, and he is too influenced by sex to stop her. Meanwhile, Alan's distracted from trying to get Kandi to agree to sell their condo after she asks him for sex. read more

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Season 4, Episode 9

Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Nina: Rachel Cannon. Vicki: Danielle Bisutti. Gordon: J.D. Walsh. Bobby: James Edson. read more

Release the Dogs Season 4, Episode 8

Alan has insomnia but refuses to take pills, opting for a visit to his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch), who reveals that the cause is Alan's jealously of Charlie and his ability to glide through life. Taylor: Melanie Abramoff. Kelly: Kelly King. Officer Roberts: Bruno Amato. read more

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head Season 4, Episode 7

Charlie goes with Berta to help her confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue), who comes to the house to help Berta clean. Meanwhile, Alan has an unusual fetish. Ronald Wiedermeier: Andy Mackenzie. Darlene Wiedermeier: Julianne Grossman. read more

Apologies for the Frivolity Season 4, Episode 6

Charlie dates a woman (Katherine LaNasa) whose personality is unbelievably similar to his mother's, and everyone sees it except Charlie. Bobby: James Edson. Andy: Andy Pessoa. Joey: Brandon Killham. read more

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Season 4, Episode 5

When Judith announces she's remarrying, Charlie and Alan find themselves helping her fiancé (Ryan Stiles) get over his cold feet so that Alan will finally be free from paying alimony. read more

A Pot-Smoking Monkey Season 4, Episode 4

Alan threatens to get legal representation if Kandi doesn't agree to joint custody of their dog, until he learns that Kandi's lawyer (Christopher Neiman) is the cutthroat who helped Judith in their settlement. Officer No. 1: Andre Ware. Officer No. 2: Michael Patrick McGill. read more

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress Season 4, Episode 3

Charlie nearly drowns while surfing and has a vision of his father's floating head, which tells him to do the unthinkable---take care of his mother. read more

Who's Vod Kanockers? Season 4, Episode 2

Charlie finally tells Alan that he ended it with Mia because she wanted Alan and Jake to move out. Meanwhile, Charlie has problems with his neighbor, rocker Steven Tyler (who appears in a cameo). read more

Working for Caligula Season 4, Episode 1

Charlie settles back into his old bachelor ways until Alan faces an emotional crisis. Sally: Marisa Tayui. Tina: Sandra McCoy. Cindy: Mia Kelly. Marie: Katie Weaver. read more

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Premiered: September 22, 2003, on CBS
Rating: TV-PG
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Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutcher replaces Sheen, playing a billionaire with a broken heart. Briskly written and performed, the sitcom had fun spoofing Charlie Sheen's bad-boy reputation (which ultimately led to his exit from the series) and Jon Cryer's nervous energy.

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