Two and a Half Men Episodes

2003, TV Show

Two and a Half Men Season 3 episodes

That Pistol-packin' Hermaphrodite Season 3, Episode 24

Conclusion. As Charlie and Mia make wedding plans, Alan and Jake are concerned about where they will live. And Rose doesn't take the wedding news well. Leon: John Vance. Rev. Yarnell: Steven Shaw. read more

Arguments for the Quickie Season 3, Episode 23

Part 1 of two. Mia's dance troupe is in town and she reserves four ballet tickets for the Harpers, but Charlie is suspicious of her motives for seeing him again. Jennifer: Cheyenne Casebier. Theresa: Maria Tornberg. Mia: Emmanuelle Vaugier. read more

Just Once With Aunt Sophie Season 3, Episode 22

When a girl (Stephanie Brown) invites Jake to his first boy-girl party, Charlie robs Alan of the chance to offer his son advice on women by beating him to the task. Alan also feels slighted that Charlie never gave him that much-needed advice in their youth. Ricky: Ralph Cole Jr. read more

And the Plot Moistens Season 3, Episode 21

Alan falls for Jake's teacher (Julia Campbell), whose intelligence is a refreshing change from Kandi's flakiness. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his audition for the school musical. read more

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Season 3, Episode 20

While Alan rushes to Kandi, who's living with Judith, to try and win his girlfriend back, Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother (Gail O'Grady). Meanwhile, Kandi sets Judith up on a date with her dad (Kevin Sorbo). Kandi: April Bowlby. read more

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin Season 3, Episode 19

Alan's girlfriend (April Bowlby) moves in with him, and the new situation creates tension in the house. read more

The Spit-Covered Cobbler Season 3, Episode 18

Alan starts paying his girlfriend's bills and runs into financial problems. read more

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer Season 3, Episode 17

Charlie is tricked by his mom and Alan into attending a jingle writers awards dinner, a prize he's never won, where he has to endure comments from a pompous multiple winner (Jon Lovitz). Gordon: J.D. Walsh. read more

Ergo, the Booty Call Season 3, Episode 16

Alan does his best to avoid the awkwardness of having his 22-year-old girlfriend attend Jake's birthday party. read more

My Tongue Is Meat Season 3, Episode 15

Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) and Charlie clash over his lifestyle. read more

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Season 3, Episode 14

Charlie and Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) decide to make love, but after the long wait, he's worried that he won't live up to her expectations. Meanwhile, Alan has his hands full with one of Charlie's former lovers. Kandi: April Bowlby. Alan: Jon Cryer. read more

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium Season 3, Episode 13

Charley uncharacteristically finds himself in a relationship that isn't based on sex. read more

That Special Tug Season 3, Episode 12

Charlie goes to a psychiatrist (Jane Lynch) to try and learn how to deal with Alan's emotional problems. Terry: Andrea Bendewald. Beth: Valerie Azlynn. read more

Santa's Village of the Damned Season 3, Episode 11

Alan starts dating a Martha Stewart-like perfectionist (Josie Davis) who takes command of the house during the holidays. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. Jake: Angus T. Jones. read more

Something Salty and Twisted Season 3, Episode 10

Charlie helps Alan with his unhealthy need to always to gain approval from women. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. Alan: Jon Cryer. read more

Madame and Her Special Friend Season 3, Episode 9

Cloris Leachman plays Charlie's wealthy neighbor who wants Alan to be her boy toy. Meanwhile, Jake wants to send money to a televangelist. Kim: April Bowlby. Hector: Phil Abrams. Jake: Angus T. Jones. read more

That Voodoo That I Do Do Season 3, Episode 8

Charlie dupes Jake into joining a ballet class just so he can flirt with the teacher (Emmanuelle Vaugier). Jake: Angus T. Jones. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. read more

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop Season 3, Episode 7

Martin Sheen guest stars as Rose's dad, who confronts Charlie and asks what his intentions are towards his daughter after an inebriated Charlie sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Margaret: June Squibb. Rose: Melanie Lynskey. Evelyn: Holland Taylor. Alan: Jon Cryer. read more

Hi, Mr. Horned One Season 3, Episode 6

Charlie is thrilled that he's dating a hot, exciting woman (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe), but Alan can't find much to like about her. In fact, he's sure that she has put a curse on both Charlie and him. read more

We Call It Mr. Pinky Season 3, Episode 5

Charlie becomes impotent when armchair psychoanalyst Rose tells him he has unresolved issues with his mom. Meanwhile, Alan gets angry when Charlie gives Jake advice about girls. Jake: Angus T. Jones. Rose: Melanie Lynskey. read more

Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs Season 3, Episode 4

Alan lets Berta stay at Charlie's house for a few days, which causes a rift between the brothers and forces Alan to look for a new place to live. Berta: Conchata Ferrell. Jake: Angus T. Jones. Alan: Jon Cryer. Charlie: Charlie Sheen. read more

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Season 3, Episode 3

When Charlie learns that Alan has been dating Judith and hoping to get back together, he does everything he can think of to keep them apart. Sandy and Mandy Bentley guest star. Judith: Marin Hinkle. Rose: Melanie Lynskey. read more

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover Season 3, Episode 2

Charlie answers phones at Alan's chiropractic office while his brother's away, and turns the place into a brothel when he hires a masseuse. Meanwhile, Alan has to meet with Jake's principal to discuss a picture Jake drew. Coco: Candace Kita. Tanya: Anna Pheil. read more

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts Season 3, Episode 1

Alan is laid up after falling off the roof, so Charlie spends a weekend caring for Jake, whose needs and wants interfere with Charlie's social life. Betsy: Kim Oja. read more

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Premiered: September 22, 2003, on CBS
Rating: TV-PG
User Rating: (1,518 ratings)
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Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutcher replaces Sheen, playing a billionaire with a broken heart. Briskly written and performed, the sitcom had fun spoofing Charlie Sheen's bad-boy reputation (which ultimately led to his exit from the series) and Jon Cryer's nervous energy.

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